Quick Review: ‘Salem’s Lot

Part of Prairie’s scheme to familiarize me with Stephen King’s work has included renting some of the many adaptations of his work to film. Quality varies, of course, but when they’re good, they’re good, and when they’re bad, it’s generally fun to look at the differences between the original story and the filmed version and see what went wrong.

This past weekend, we went with a recent TV miniseries version of ‘Salem’s Lot.

It started out rather promising, with a strong cast (Rob Lowe as Ben Mears, Donald Sutherland as Richard Straker, Rutger Hauer as Kurt Barlowe, and James Cromwell as Father Callahan), and the first half of the show was overall fairly well done — while there were definite alterations made, due both to moving the story to the small screen and updating it for a modern setting, most of them weren’t very troubling, and the tone of the film was dead on.

There were two definite “What??” moments in the first half, though. The film opened with a scene (Ben attacking Father Calahan and hospitalizing both of them after a fall out of a second-story window) that was not anywhere in the book, and had Prairie and I both quite confused, as it didn’t seem to make any sense for either of the characters — though we decided to give the film the benefit of the doubt, and see where things led, especially when the next few scenes covering Ben’s arrival in the town were handled quite well. Also, the doctor was combined with another character in the book, which ended up drastically changing his character for the worse. That bothered both of us, as he was one of the nicer characters in the book.

Other changes were more acceptable, though — various characters being combined, slight tweaks here and there — and most of what we noticed were differences in interpretation. For instance, we had each pictured Straker as far more slick and smooth, and very politely menacing, while Sutherland played him a little more wild. Still, the feel of the book was captured quite well, so even with the slight changes, things seemed to be going fairly well.

Then we hit the second half, and things suddenly starting going downhill. Mark, the boy hero of the book who survives in large part due to his childhood innocence and open acceptance of ghoulies, ghosties, and things that go bump in the night, is made far more cynical and something of a troublemaker, robbing his character of many of the qualities that allowed him to survive through the book. The changes made to the doctor’s character continued to eat away at our perception of him, making him far less sympathetic.

But the real crimes were in the sudden and drastic deviations from the plot of the book as the movie drew to a close. Ben’s encounter with Hubie Marsten in the old Marsten house is substantially changed, and ends up being nowhere near as creepy or effective as in the book. Susan’s death, one of the big moments for Ben in his struggle to deal with the situation, doesn’t happen when it should, instead being pushed into an absolutely ludicrously silly final confrontation near the end of the movie. Father Callahan goes from being a very interesting and ultimately tragic figure to being little more than evil and rather dumb. The vampire “dusting” effects are just silly — surely they could have found another way to distinguish their vampire deaths from those of other shows without having the vamps suddenly levitate towards the ceiling and explode into glitter. And Barlowe’s final moments are just laughable.

In the end, it was one of the more disappointing adaptations I’ve seen, simply because it seemed to start so well — to have it take such a drastic turn for the worse was more frustrating than if had simply been bad through and through from the start.

iTunesKiss, The” by Cure, The from the album Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me (1987, 6:14).

Odd Movie Combinations

I saw a couple movies in my Netflix New Releases feed that made me laugh today…

Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood OrchidAnaconda plus Adaptation? It’s actually a sequel to Anaconda, has gotten worse reviews than the original (which is amusing, as I hated the original), and I’m sure it has absolutely nothing to do with Adaptation, but the idea of trying to combine the two amuses me.

Alien SpeciesAlien plus Species? Aside from both being sci-fi/horror films featuring creatures conceived by H.R. Geiger, they’re not really that similar, and this just looks like a generic sci-fi flick. The cover image (here it is on Netflix, Amazon apparently doesn’t have one) even looks like they’re ripping off the martian attack machines from the old film version of War of the Worlds.

Some days it really seems like we’ve run out of original ideas.

iTunesLover Boy/Lover Girl (B[Eat Me Up])” by Lords of Acid from the album Lover Boy/Lover Girl (2000, 5:36).

Made it!

The Fellowship

Well, we survived!

Man, that’s a lot of movie. When all’s said and done, it was a lot of fun, and all agreed that it was well worth doing, and definitely something that should be done again.

In a year or so.

The Extended Edition of Return of the King is wonderful, though — at least as good as, if not better than, the extended versions of each of the first two films. A few major additions and a number of minor ones that do an incredible job of fleshing out the film.

However, it’s now almost 12:30, and as we’re well worn out from a long day of sitting on our butts, it’s bedtime for us.

Getting ready…

Lord of the Rings collection

So far, unless anyone does a surprise show on my doorstep (well…secured entrance to the apartment building), it looks like it’ll be a fairly small group for the Lord of the Rings fest today: myself, Prairie, and Robert, unless something falls through on his end.

We’ve got the house clean (or at least presentable), and Prairie’s working on putting together a plate of munchies to carry us through the first stretch of the day.

I’ve got one half-written post open, and another couple in my head, so there will be more things appearing to make up for my relative quietude of late, but they’ll likely not show up until tomorrow at the earliest.

Just some general ramblings while we putter around and get ready for the day…

32.4 Days

After adding as many of the 100 overlooked films to my Netflix queue as I could, my queue is now 389 discs long (not counting the four discs of Buffy and West Wing I have left).

Assuming an average of two hours per movie, that’s 32.4 days of movies lined up. Something tells me that that’s going to take a while to get through. ;)

Right now, my queue is ordered only by the order that I’ve added items to it. I’m halfway debating sorting it by year of release and starting with the oldest films, working my way towards more recent titles. Anybody tried this? Think it might be worth it?

For the terminally curious, here’s my queue (358k .pdf).

iTunesIn Dreams” by Masters from the album Essential Chillout (2000, 6:27).

LotR:TYEBEE update

A reminder e-mail with directions and details has been sent out to those of you who expressed interest in attending my little Lord of the Rings: Till Your Eyes Bleed Extended Edition deal on Saturday. Looks like it’ll be a rather small crowd of about five or six people if everyone who was interested can make it.

No matter what, it should be fun. Prairie’s baked lots of cookies for us to munch on — the going theory right now is that if the screaming battle cries of the orcs don’t keep us all awake by the end of the last film, the sugar rush sure will.

See y’all then!

iTunesReverence” by Faithless from the album Reverence (1996, 7:44).

Quick Review: Dawn of the Dead

Last night’s fun was the modern remake of Dawn of the Dead. I’ve not seen the original, so I can’t compare the two in any way, but this one was exactly what I expected it would be — a fun, sometimes silly, and very gory horror flick.

No reason is given for the zombies, but then, that’s not really the point. Plausibility, rationality, and logic have no place here. What does have a place is lots of creepy dead and decaying people, exploding heads, and creating a enjoyably icky couple of hours of entertainment, all of which were pulled off quite well enough for me.

About the only bummer for me were some of the special features. Occasionally during the movie we’d see snippets of television news broadcasts reporting on the catastrophe in progress, and these are presented in full on the DVD. Unfortunately, it turns out that there’s a reason that we only saw snippets during the actual film — most of the zombies (who didn’t have to do much more than scream, grunt, growl, grimace, ooze, and bleed) were better actors than the reporters in the broadcasts. The extra background was entertaining enough for what it was, but they were a little painful to watch straight through.

On the bright side, though, the ten minute long featurette exploring the special effects behind the myriad exploding heads was really entertaining. As much as I enjoy computers and digital effects, I’m always fascinated by the real physical effects work — everything from the puppetry of Jim Henson’s films to the blood and gore of horror films — and it’s fun to watch the effects crew geek out when they get a good shot of some zombie’s brains blowing out the back of their head.

Okay, so it’s a little sick. That doesn’t mean it can’t be fun!

iTunesDrama” by Club 69 from the album Junior Vasquez, Vol. 2 (1997, 3:36).

Quick Review: Timeline

I just finished watching Timeline, based on the book by Michael Crichton. I don’t know anything about the book it’s based on — I haven’t read a Crichton novel in years — but the movie?

Oooh, ouch. Bad movie. No biscuit.

Bad enough that I spent most of the movie bored and often rolling my eyes, but I pretty much knew I was in for a dud (well, I’d picked it up already by the utter lack of acting ability by anyone in the cast, but…) when the group arrived in the late 14th century and anyone they ran into who spoke English spoke perfectly understandable, if anachronized, modern English.

Given that Geoffrey Chaucer wrote the Canterbury Tales around the end of the 14th century, and it reads as follows (as many people will remember from their high school english classes)…

Whan that Aprill, with his shoures soote
The droghte of March hath perced to the roote
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;

Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,

That slepen al the nyght with open eye-
(So priketh hem Nature in hir corages);
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages
And palmeres for to seken straunge strondes
To ferne halwes, kowthe in sondry londes;

And specially from every shires ende
Of Engelond, to Caunterbury they wende,
The hooly blisful martir for to seke
That hem hath holpen, whan that they were seeke.
Bifil that in that seson, on a day,

In Southwerk at the Tabard as I lay
Redy to wenden on my pilgrymage
To Caunterbury with ful devout corage,
At nyght was come into that hostelrye
Wel nyne and twenty in a compaignye

Of sondry folk, by aventure yfalle
In felaweshipe, and pilgrimes were they alle,
That toward Caunterbury wolden ryde.

…and generally needs a translation for modern readers to comprehend it, the fact that the language barrier wasn’t even mentioned in passing, let alone given any sort of (however implausible) explanation, was enough to have me scoffing.

Bleah. Don’t bother.

iTunesHappiness (Dub)” by Front 242 from the album Mut@ge.Mix@ge (1995, 6:10).

Blade Trinity

I’d been iffy on whether I wanted to bother, but this pre-release review of Blade Trinity just put it on my “must see” list:

I attended a free sneek preview of Blade Trinity this evening at Pacific Place…. I expected very little from this movie and I received my expectations in abundance.

Pluses:
– Parker Posey as a vampire
– Ryan Reynolds mostly naked
– visual effects

Negatives:
– plot
– dialog
– editing
– direction
– poor action scenes
– Kris Kristofferson
– cliche footage of the city moving at 20x normal speed
– unintentional comedy
– excessive product placement (iPods)
– lame pop cultural references
– vampiric pomeranian (really!)
– “Dracula” err, I mean “DRAKE” groan

Parker Posey is always fun to watch, and a vampire kick-me dog?!? Oh, this I’ve gotta see!

(Maybe not until it hits video…but then, I’ve occasionally paid for worse in the theaters…)

iTunesMelt” by Leftfield from the album Leftism (1995, 5:13).