The dangers of mayonnaise

A Texas woman was sentenced to 10 years in jail for running over the manager of a McDonald’s with her car because she wanted mayonnaise on her cheeseburger.

Waynetta Nolan, 37, showed no emotion Thursday as the sentence was read in court following a trial in which the McDonald’s manager, Sherry Jenkins, said she gave Nolan the mayonnaise she requested, but she flew into a rage anyway.

“I gave her everything she asked for — mayonnaise, no mustard, onions, everything I could possibly do for this lady. Mayo, mayo, mayo, and it’s still not good enough,” Jenkins told reporters outside the courtroom.

Nolan, who was convicted of aggravated assault for the April 23 incident, became so angry when a McDonald’s employee told her she could not get mayonnaise that she threw her cheeseburger into the drive-through the window, witnesses said.

Jenkins tried to placate her by offering a cheeseburger with mayonnaise, but Nolan continued to make demands until Jenkins finally called police.

When she went outside to write down Nolan’s license plate number, Nolan ran her over, breaking her pelvis.

Nolan testified that she was putting ketchup on her cheeseburger when she accidentally struck Jenkins.

Good to know that we can still settle disputes in a calm, rational, reasonable way (rolls eyes).

The trickiest zen on the menu

I wanted to take a moment to point out Pops’ domain, 2 Hour Lunch. I discovered his site at some point during the TypePad beta testing process, and he’s become one of my favorite reads. He’s got a wonderful writing voice, and it’s not at all uncommon for his posts to elicit grins or laughter.

Here’s a wonderful bit from this past week, taken from \”Creepy? Check! Kooky? Check!:

Kids?

Kids are a dump truck full o’ work.

Mr. Man is lively, academically gifted, and a first class nerd. He is endlessly curious and self-motivated. He’s a remarkable conversationalist if you’re over 30. Under 30 – you suspect he’s a midget. Testing has shown that Mr. Man has the reasoning and logic skills of some one 10 years older.

His school has called several times to say, “He has no social skills.” and I respond, “Well, no need for a paternity test then, is there?!?”

Silence ensues.

Mr. Man needed surgery when he was 18 months old. He’s been so sick we never thought he would ever get better again. Just by the mere fact that he is a new human being in this world, he has found no end of ways to scare the living shit out of us.

We knew that would happen.

We just didn’t know when or how.

Parenting is amazing. Parenting is torture. Parenting is like like any intense relationship you’ve ever had in your life. It drives away your future expectations and makes you live very much in the moment.

It’s the trickiest zen on the menu.

The two of us see all of it as a grand adventure sorta like the Jungle Boat Ride. We take turns making bad jokes and Mr. Man is the foreign tourist who doesn’t understand a word of it.

And every day we get out of bed and go forward from there.

Stop by and say hi.

Fasten your seatbelts!

Quake shockwave (1.1Mb animated .gif)If you live in the Seattle/Portland/Pacific Northwest — or Japan — you might want to think about moving. At least, think about it if you have plans to be in the area in about 200 years. ;)

Geologists have discovered evidence of a massively powerful earthquake zone beneath the Pacific Northwest just offshore from the Seattle area.

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They made the discovery by piecing together ancient accounts of a giant Japanese tsunami and a computer simulation of a huge trembler in the 17th century.

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Thought to be inactive, the earthquake zone runs 600 miles up the Pacific Coast from Northern California to southern British Columbia. It appears to be subject to monster quakes every 500 years.

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[…]

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In Japan, Satake created a detailed computer model showing how the tsunami crossed the Pacific before crashing into Japan.

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Atwood said the geological record indicates the fault ruptures about once every 500 years and is capable of unleashing “truly giant earthquakes.”

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He said only three quakes this century compare in magnitude — a 9.0 quake in Kamchatka in 1952, a 9.5 quake in Chile in 1960 and a 9.2 trembler in Alaska in 1964.

Well, okay, so maybe there’s not great reason to panic just yet. Alaskans have been expecting a repeat of the ’64 quake “real soon now” for years without it happening, and this one isn’t due for another two centuries. Still, it’s nice to be able to plan ahead sometimes, isn’t it?

Miss Digital World

Miss Digital World

Here’s a fun idea for a new-millennium beauty contest: Miss Digital World, a beauty contest complete with virtual contestants!

“Miss Digital World” is the first beauty contest reserved for the likes of video game heroine Lara Croft, computer-cloned actresses from the “Matrix” films and new beauties tweaked to perfection with 3D graphics.

Digital artists, advertising agencies and video game programmers from around the world have been asked to send a computer design of their perfect woman to www.missdigitalworld.com, complete with date of birth and body measurements.

I think my favorite part from the CNN article is the tidbit about ethical considerations…

“They should not have taken part — not even as extras or cameos — in pornographic films, shows or plays nor have made statements…in any way out of tune with the moral spirit of the competition,” organizers said.

(via Prairie)

World record pillow fight!

Knocking the stuffing out of each other may also set a record if Oregon State University students are recognized for what they hope was the largest pillow fight in history.

Unofficially, 766 people showed up at Oregon State on Friday to take part in the jumbo pillow fight in hopes of topping the Guinness Book of Records mark set by 645 people who staged a mass pillow brawl in Garnett, Kan., last June.

That sounds like so much fun!

(via Prairie)

Justice isn't always black and white

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

Local weekly newspaper The Stranger has an excellent summary of Gary Ridgeway’s day in court confessing to 48 counts of murder as the Green River Killer — and plea bargaining to avoid the death sentence in the process — in the form of a 24-panel black and white comic strip. Very nicely done.

I’m really torn as to the matter of his plea bargain. Firstly, I’ve never been a huge fan of the death penalty (yes, I’m afraid I’m one of those flaming liberals). At the same time, if there were ever a case extreme enough to justify the death penalty, this could be it — 48 women dead over 20-some years, merely because Ridgeway didn’t like prostitutes. Obviously, rehabilitation isn’t an option in some cases, and while Ridgeway’s death certainly wouldn’t bring any of his victims back, or ease the pain for their families, it could provide a sense of closure and finality for many people that merely locking him away for the rest of his life wouldn’t do. But what got the judge to accept the plea bargain and to allow Ridgeway to live was Ridgeway’s promise to reveal the location of even more remains so that they can be exhumed, identified, and hopefully returned to their families, which I can only see as a good thing, allowing more people to get a certain amount of closure in the death of their loved ones.

It’s certainly not an easy situation. I don’t envy the judge, nor any of the other people involved in this case. No matter what, not everyone is going to be satisfied with the final outcome.

(via pops)

Top 10 scientific hoaxes

From The Guardian: the top 10 scientific hoaxes of all time. A very interesting list, some of which I’d heard of, some of which I hadn’t, and one that I’d never heard was a hoax.

2. The amazing Tasaday tribe

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In 1971 Manuel Elizalde, a Philippine government minister, discovered a small stone age tribe living in utter isolation on the island of Mindanao. These people, the Tasaday, spoke a strange language, gathered wild food, used stone tools, lived in caves, wore leaves for clothes, and settled matters by gentle persuasion. They made love, not war, and became icons of innocence; reminders of a vanished Eden.

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They also made the television news headlines, the cover of National Geographic, were the subject of a bestselling book, and were visited by Charles A Lindbergh and Gina Lollobrigida. Anthropologists tried to get a more sustained look, but President Marcos declared a 45,000-acre Tasaday reserve and closed it to all visitors.

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After Marcos was deposed in 1986, two journalists got in and found that the Tasaday lived in houses, traded smoked meat with local farmers, wore Levi’s T-shirts and spoke a recognisable local dialect. The Tasadays explained that they had only moved into caves, donned leaves and performed for cameras under pressure from Elizalde – who had fled the country in 1983 along with millions from a foundation set up to protect the Tasaday. Elizalde died in 1997.

I remember reading about the Tasaday tribe in National Geographic (though as the issue was printed in 1972, the year before my birth, it must have been much later when I found it) and being absolutely fascinated that they’d been able to survive unchanged for so long. A bit of a bummer that it was a hoax, but not terribly surprising.

(via MeFi)

Bad headline award

One of the many reasons why I love the English language is how sentences can parse in entirely unintentional ways. For instance, from the Washington Post:

Girl Scout Beaver Traps Upset Activists

Those poor activists! Someone really needs to cheer them up — but first, get them away from that Girl Scout!

The copyeditors really should have caught that one before it made it to press…

(via The Usual Suspects)

Two out of three ain't bad!

Singapore sounds like a rather odd place at times. Never having been there, of course, all I can judge by is the occasional news story that makes the rounds over here, when I find out that in Singapore, prostitution is legal, the age of consent is 16 — but oral sex is illegal.

Like the title says…;)

(via Prairie)

Klienfelters Syndrome

While for most people these days, any discussion of men with breasts will immediately lead to quotes from Fight Club (“This is Bob. Bob had bitch tits.”), it’s a very real medical condition called Gynecomastia, sometimes developed as a result of Klienfelter Syndrome.

Klienfelters is a genetic condition, caused and characterized by having an extra bit of gene make up. Where most people have either a 36 YY or 26 XY Genetic make up depending if they are male or female, some people have variations of the standard. Klienfelters Syndrome people typically have a 37XXY Gene. Technically this makes them neither male or female. Klienfelters Syndrome people appear and are accepted as male. In many cases, people who have the condition may not realise they have it.

Some symptoms of Klienfelters include:

  • Slight outward turning of legs, similar to Downs Syndrome.
  • Slight to significant brain retardation and hence slow learning.
  • Problems with linguistics; reading and language skills.
  • Short attention spans.
  • Development of breasts at puberty.
  • Wider hips than normal.
  • Appear to be overweight from puberty (some Internet sites say the opposite).
  • Infertility.
  • Short life spans.

The best and most definitive way to work out if a person has Klienfelters is to have a test for the 37XXY genetic makeup from a blood sample.

I happened across one person’s website about their experiences growing up in a small town with Klienfelters Syndrome.

His story fascinated me. While you’d expect that someone in his position in a small town would be regarded as a “freak” of some sort, he actually was lucky enough to be very accepted by his (predominantly female) family and the community. Raised with three sisters and a mother who didn’t enforce the usual gender stereotypes, he lived mostly as a girl from an early age. At the onset of puberty, the development of his breasts enforced this, and while he knew he was a boy, he was able to spend most of his childhood comfortably, without being ostracized, harassed, or abused by the people around him.

As he grew older and moved out into the world, of course, things didn’t always go as smoothly, and he now lives most of his life in public appearing masculine, but still primarily self-identifying as feminine — though not homosexual — when he’s at home. Even in a society that is (slowly, but finally) becoming more tolerant of homosexuality, trans-gendered people, and the entire GLBT spectrum, it’s interesting to hear from people like this who still “fall through the cracks,” and don’t quite fit into any of the nice, neat little boxes that we’re forever trying to fit people into.

(via Something Positive)

[Update:]{.underline}

Sure, it’s possible that his story is a load of hooey. I still find the gender identity issues interesting.