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I think that the next time I need to get new glasses, I want to go to whoever Jonathan’s optomotrist is…

Halfway through the testing procedure, which took nearly 45 minutes, I commented on the fact that I felt a degree of performance anxiety, experienced as a strong desire to provide the “correct answer” to each of the optometrist’s questions about the relative sharpness of individual test charts. He told me that this was quite natural, since I had such a strong emotional investment in the process.

He said that he listened very carefully to a patient’s voice while conducting these tests, in many cases giving greater emphasis to the emotional resonance of their answers than to the choices they actually made. Why? To avoid the risk of prescribing a lens that is stronger than necessary. He also factored this “emotional coefficient” into his choice of one kind of spectacles over another.

…I went to the appointment expecting that he would recommend…progressive lenses, which would provide a smooth transition from intermediate to near. This was, in fact, his recommendation but out of curiosity I asked him about bifocals, segmented lenses with two distinct regions for — in my case — intermediate and near vision.

“I only prescribe bifocals for patients with rigid personalities,” he answered. “In other words, people who see the world in terms of black and white rather than shades of gray. Of course I wouldn’t be having this conversation with someone who needs bifocals.”

The optometrist as psychotherapist, I thought to myself, what an intriguing character.

Well, if you decided to choose how you were going to die — would you pick something different?

Rolf Eden, a Berlin property tycoon, former nightclub owner, and all-purpose celebrity, says he is offering $125,000 to any woman, from anywhere in the world, who can kill him with sex.

“My real desire is to die on a lady, while making love,” Eden said. “A lawyer has my will, and in my will I have $125,000 for this lady.”

Eden is known by many as the “Hugh Hefner” of Germany. He doesn’t publish a magazine, but he is a wealthy playboy.

Eden says that even at age 72 he is fit as a fiddle, and ready for love. He claims he will pay for an unspecified number of women to fly to Berlin from various parts of the world, for a couple of days of sexual activity, providing they fit his criteria.

Basically that seems to mean they must be young, attractive, healthy, and with a practical outlook on life. “If a lady will come here, she really has to work hard,” he said.

As for the obvious objections which women’s right groups would have, Eden is unrepentant. “If they’re outraged, the leader, if she’s young and beautiful, she should come here and I’ll change her mind very fast.”

Time for me to start saving. I’ll post when I have my own $125,000 ready to spend. ;)

Thanks to Karl for this one!

How fun — I just took the 80’s Purity Test. It’s weighted a bit more towards ‘girl stuff’ (lots of questions about wearing scrunchies and jelly shoes and the like), but I still didn’t do too badly:

Total Questions:249
Questions answered Yes:160
Maximum possible Score:249
Score:161
Percent impurity:64.6
Percent purity:35.4
Explanation:You answered “yes” to 161 of 249 questions, making you 64.6% 80s (35.4% non-80s); that is, you are 64.6% in the 80s domain (your purity is 35.4%).

(Thanks to Throughyoureyes)

Antipixel: The Radius of Human Experience:

Here’s a little game I sometimes play when I’m bored. Works best in the denser urban environments, but you can play it anywhere. It helps to believe that pretty much anything a human can do is being done by someone somewhere at any given moment (although you can switch this thought off when you’re done).

Imagining yourself at the centre of a circle, how far do you have to expand the radius of that circle until you’ve encompassed all of human experience?

For example…

Great post. I tried to find a good way to work it into my site for a few minutes, then just decided a quote and a link would work just fine. I probably do that too much, but here, it seemed the best approach.

Okay, so skydiving has never been too high on my list of things to do. In fact, I don’t think you could pay me enough to do it voluntarily. However…

…skydiving naked just seems even crazier.

Thanks to Jeremy for this one.

There’s an absolutely wonderful thread on MeFi right now. It started with a link to Greasy Kid Stuff, a wonderful little trip back to the playground, and all the rules that kids live by…

Nyah nyah nyah nyaaahh nyaaahh. Few grade-school kids could successfully define the word “schadenfreude” if asked, but you had better believe they know what it means. Furthermore, they have even less interest in disguising their glee at another’s misfortune than most grown-ups (viz. Nelson’s gratified “HA ha” on The Simpsons). Taunting another kid she knows she can outrun, cackling as another kid gets in trouble — nothing pleases the average child more. If you listen carefully, you can hear adults chanting “nyah nyah nyah nyaaahh nyaaahh” when other adults who just cut them off get pulled over by a cop.

The ensuing discussion is filled with all sorts of further childhood fun, games, and other dangerous activities. Everything from looping the swingset to taunt trivia to other fun variations of ‘tag’, and lots, lots more.

Things like this are why I still love the ‘net.