Crazy Like A Fax

Crazy Like A Fax

Crazy Like A Fax, originally uploaded by djwudi.

Back in 1996, this fax came in at the job I was working. There was no cover sheet, and no TO: or FROM: information that we could decipher. We saved it for a month to see if anyone would actually claim it, then were going to throw it away when I decided that it was too gloriously insane to lose. I saved the papers, taped them together, and laminated it for safekeeping. I’ve had it ever since then. Gotta love the crazy.

Click through to the image on Flickr and then mouse over for my notes doing my best to interpret the scrawls.

This really deserves to be seen larger to get the full impact.

Links for April 1st through April 2nd

Sometime between April 1st and April 2nd, I thought this stuff was interesting. You might think so too!

  • Easy Auto-Download of TV Programs From Usenet: "After getting several threatening letters from Comast over the years, re: questionable Bittorrent activity, we've opted to obtain all our questionably legal materials from a 'safer,' medium, namely Usenet. All-in-all, Usenet is a pretty awesome way to quickly acquire media files without ever having to upload anything, and without anyone being on your back about it."
  • Check Username Availability at Multiple Social Networking Sites: "Check to see if your desired username or vanity url is still available at dozens of popular Social Networking and Social Bookmarking websites. Promote your brand consistently by registering a username that is still available on the majority of the most popular sites. Find the best username with namechk."
  • Family Guy == Unfunny: "I've taken the first half of a random episode off my PVR and edited all of the out-of-context things into a separate file, leaving us with a Family Guy storyline (unencumbered by random crap) and a bunch of random Family Guy crap (unencumbered by unfunny Family Guy storyline.) Everything that was in the first segment of the episode is in the two files; nothing has been lost except the opening credits. ¶ If you've watched both of these files, you'll have seen that the contents of the episode simply aren't funny (or as funny anyway) without the context-shift, meaning that it isn't the show or writers that are funny — it's simple juxtaposition that's making you laugh."
  • Where Gadgets Go to Die: Facility Strips, Rips and Recycles: "With 15 locations in the United States, Sims Recycling Solutions is one of the world's largest electronics scrap recyclers. Pictured here is the 'demanufacturing' center of the company's Roseville, California facility, where workers disassemble everything from printers, cameras and computers to Jumbotrons for their reusable materials. The facility receives roughly 150,000 pounds of used electronics a day. ¶ Follow along for a photographic tour of the Sims facility, where you'll learn exactly what happens to unwanted gadgets as they're dismantled, their components sorted and their raw materials melted down for scrap."
  • Wrong Tomorrow: "'But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.' What does this site do? It keeps track of predictions of the future by public figures. How does it work? When someone makes a prediction, people post it to the site along with a brief description and a URL. We monitor it and change its status to true or false when appropriate."

Why I Wish NIN’s ‘Strobe Light’ Was Real

Produced by Timbaland!The April Fool’s joke that got the biggest laugh out of me today was this gag from Trent Reznor, promoting the release of Nine Inch Nails’ newest album, ‘Strobe Light’, produced by R&B/Hip-Hop/Pop producer Timbaland. If that’s not enough to get a laugh, there’s the beautiful tracklisting that spoofs alt.goth culture while coming up with totally off-the-wall ideas for potential collaborators for such an album…

  1. intro skit
  2. everybody’s doing it (featuring chris martin, jay-z AND bono)
  3. black t-shirt
  4. pussygrinder (featuring sheryl crow)
  5. coffin on the dancefloor
  6. this rhythm is infected
  7. slide to the dark side
  8. even closer (featuring justin timberlake and maynard james keenan)
  9. on the list (she’s not)
  10. clap trap crack slap
  11. laid, paid and played (featuring fergie of the black eyed peas and al jourgensen)
  12. feel like being dead again
  13. still hurts (featuring alicia keys)
  14. outro skit

As the day wore on, I started thinking about just why this particular joke appealed to me so much, and why — as horrid as this may seem to some people — yes, I wish this one wasn’t a hoax. If this were a real album, I’d gladly pay good money to pick it up.

Sometime back in 1990 or 1991, I found ‘Pretty Hate Machine‘. I don’t even remember quite how I found it, though I think it was a cassette being passed, copied, and dubbed around the Anchorage alternoscene at the time, spreading the word the way good music does — via word of mouth. You know, exactly the way the music industry does everything in its power to prevent. Anyway.

It’s no exaggeration to say that I got really into NIN…perhaps even minorly obsessed. As the years went by, I grabbed every bit of music I could find that escaped from Trent’s clutches. All of NIN’s albums and singles, bootleg CDs of live albums, side projects, other bands that he did remix or production work for…anything I could find, I snagged. This archived page from my first website (circa 1996) catalogs everything I’d managed to track down at the time (including the Butch Vig remix of ‘Last’ which, when I found it, I’d had to download in five or six chunks and then piece together into a single 2MB .mp3 file in order to listen to it…and since the track is four and a half minutes long, you can guess that it was highly compressed and not very good quality).

Anyway, the point is I was huge into NIN and, more broadly, anything that Trent worked on. As far as I was concerned, he could do no wrong. A big part of why I was such a fan was the breadth of style that Trent’s work encompassed. While yes, all of Trent’s work fits solidly in the ‘industrial’ über-genre, there was a definite sense of progression and evolution to his work between 1988 and 1994. Songwriting, production, the sounds and techniques, all of it grew from album to album.

After ‘The Downward Spiral‘ and its associated remix albums were released, Trent took a bit of a break. During that time, the occasional article would come out detailing Trent’s personal struggles, and occasionally there’d be a interview or two, usually something along the theme of, “what will NIN do next?”

In one of these interviews — and sorry, but I haven’t got a clue when, in what magazine, or in what context this appeared in — Trent was talking about how he’d been listening to a lot of hip-hop, and getting to know and working with a lot of pop and hip-hop artists. He talked about how they’d been influencing his music, and said something about how his next release would probably piss off a lot of his early fans, because of his new inspirations and the new directions he was going to take. About the same time, he did a remix of Puffy Daddy and the Family’s ‘Victory’ that absolutely floored me. I don’t like ‘gangsta’ rap, I’m by no means a fan of P-Diddy, but Trent’s work on that song took the inner-city extroverted rage of the ‘gangsta’ and wrapped it in the distortion-ridden black-clad self-destructive introverted rage of the industrial genre and made it work. Okay, so that description doesn’t exactly make it sound appealing, but hey, that’s what it sounds like to me.

This really exited me. I’ve never been much into rap (and especially hardcore ‘gangsta’ rap), but I’ve often found that that’s less to do with the rapping — I’ve heard some incredible rapping over the years — and more to do with the boring, unimaginative beats and the violent, misogynistic lyrics. Rappers who could do something interesting were fine, and when I’ve found them, I’ve been more than happy to toss money their way (I’ve got a pretty good collection of both The Beastie Boys and Public Enemy, among others [yes, I know…could I be any more of a middle-class white boy?]). Most of it just didn’t catch my interest.

But if Trent could combine his songwriting and production skills with the catchy pop hooks and lyrical skills of some of the best of the hip-hop world? I was really looking forward to seeing what would come out. After his years of coming up with music that I loved, I trusted Trent to find good artists to work with, and even if I didn’t end up liking everything that came out of this “new direction,” I felt sure that there would probably be more than a few gems that would make it worthwhile.

So I waited. Sometimes more patiently than others, but I waited. And eventually, word came out that there was finally going to be a new Nine Inch Nails album. Finally! The day of release, I went to the store and got my copy of ‘The Fragile‘, took it home, put it in my CD player…

…and that was one of only a few times that I’ve bothered to actually listen to that album straight through. For the first time since I’d discovered him, Trent had created a Nine Inch Nails album that, to my ears, was simply “more of the same old thing.” Only it was a little more disappointing than that, it actually felt like it was less of the same old thing. It felt to me like he’d just taken all of the moody, introspective, instrumental or near-instrumental noise collages from ‘The Downward Spiral’ and its two remix albums and stretched them out into two discs worth of droning, with a few tracks that he’d thrown a drum kit at for a little variety.

Obviously, I was let down.

I still have a lot of respect for Trent’s abilities, and I’ve kept an eye on his work since then, but ‘The Fragile’ was the last full album of NIN’s that I’ve bought. I gave the five-dollar version of Ghosts I-IV (which only has Ghosts I, or tracks 1-9 of the full album) a shot, and have been grabbing whatever he releases for free as they’ve been announced (The Slip and the NIN|JA 2009 tour sampler), but still, none of it grabs me. It all feels like as much as Trent has been doing a bang-up job creating (from what I’ve heard and read) incredible live shows, online ‘Alternate Reality Games’ for his albums, and telling the music industry to take a flying leap, his music just doesn’t seem to have gone anywhere since the mid-1990’s.

Or, perhaps, I’m just a stodgy old Elder Goth wannabe, pining for the good old angst-filled days of his black-clad youth. It’s a possibility.

So, when I see the hoax promo page for ‘Strobe Light’, I laugh at the silliness of it all…but I also wish, just a little bit, that it wasn’t a hoax. That Trent had actually followed through with his threats of oh-so-long-ago, gathered together with pop and hip-hop artists, blended and mangled their talents with his, and produced something truly interesting, bridging the brainless shiny of the pop world, the brainless bling of the hip-hop world, and the hopeless angst of the goth/industrial world into one bizarre, but brilliant, whole.

Links for March 30th through March 31st

Sometime between March 30th and March 31st, I thought this stuff was interesting. You might think so too!

  • Seattle’s Woodland Park Zoo’s New Penguin Exhibit Almost Ready: "We got a behind-the-scenes look at the new Humboldt penguin exhibit at Woodland Park Zoo a few days ago. Construction is mostly complete, and they're finishing up some signage and plantings in anticipation of its public opening May 2. The penguins, brought in from a number of zoos, are in quarantine behind the exhibit, and are slowly being introduced to penguins outside their own groups before jumping into their new home."
  • I Invented … the Apple Logo: "'For inspiration, the first thing I did was go to the supermarket, buy a bag of apples and slice them up. I just stared at the wedges for hours,' recalls Janoff. The fruit of his labor: a simple 2-D monochromatic apple, with a healthy bite taken from the right side. Jobs loved the conceit-only he suggested it be more colorful."
  • Old Moon Images Get Modern Makeover: "Imagery gleaned from the Lunar Orbiters over 40 years ago is now getting a 21st century makeover thanks to the Lunar Orbiter Image Recovery Project (LOIRP). By gathering the vintage hardware to playback the imagery, and then upgrading it to digital standards, researchers have yielded a strikingly fresh look at the old moon. Furthermore, LOIRP's efforts may also lead to retrieving and beefing up video from the first human landing on the moon by Apollo 11 astronauts in July 1969."
  • Marketing Genius, Episode II: The Camblr Strikes Back: "The leanness of the script leaves very little room for audience-directed expository dialogue. The word 'X-Wing' is only spoken when an officer must notify Darth Vader what type of ship is landing in Cloud City. The word 'lightsaber' is only used once in A New Hope, by Obi-Wan, to tell Luke what it is he's holding. And heck, of course the word 'Ewok' is never spoken — how would Leia know they were called Ewoks, when the Ewoks themselves could only talk in vowely gibberish? ¶ I now consider this to be an underappreciated stroke of genius: the characters in Star Wars are written to be familiar with their environment, just as their environment is designed to be familiar with them. Neither the environment nor the dialogue is compromised to cater to the audience."
  • Marketing Genius: "A few minutes ago, I read this post by John Gruber about this article by Dan Vebber about how the word 'Ewok' — a household term — is never actually spoken in Return of the Jedi. At this point in time — thanks to books, toys, and licensing — everyone and every in the Star Wars universe has a name, species, or designation, but what other relatively well-known Star Wars terms were never actually used in the movies?"
  • Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen, 2008 the Other Half of Famous Twins: "Both Charlie Sheen and Jenna Jameson had twin boys recently, joining the growing ranks of parents with multiples like Julia Roberts and Brangelina. When these little bundles of joy grow up will they be the next Mary-Kate and Ashley? Or will one seek fame while the other chooses a more subdued life out of the spotlight. We went looking for celebrities that have an unknown twin and were surprised by the stars who have a not so famous other half."

Norwescon Tweetup

A couple months ago, I started up an (unofficial) @norwescon Twitter account as another avenue for disseminating Norwescon info to the masses. The account is mostly automated, mirroring links to anything that pops up in the norwescon LiveJournal community or in the Flickr group, but I’ll occasionally toss things in that seem to be on-topic and of interest.

Earlier this week, @EMPSFM asked if I was planning any sort of ‘tweetup’ during the ‘con. I hadn’t thought about it, but it seems like a good idea.

So, barring any unforeseen complications, I’m tentatively choosing 3pm on Saturday afternoon as a good time — early enough in the day that it won’t interfere with any of the big evening activities, late enough that most congoers should have arrived. The location is still to be determined: unless someone out there has a good spot in mind (somewhere in the public areas, this is far too last-minute, unofficial and slapdash to have an actual room available), I’ll scope out the common areas on Friday to find a decent place.

If you’re a congoer and already following @norwescon, you’re welcome to show up! If you’re on Twitter but not following @norwescon, follow and show up! If you’re not on Twitter…either sign up and show up, or just show up. It’s not like we can stop you. :)

  • 1st Annual Norwescon Tweetup
  • Saturday, April 11
  • 3 PM
  • Location to be determined

Questions, comments, words of wisdom? Fire ’em at me!

Geek and Other Holidays

I’ve just resurrected an old project, using Wikipedia’s list of unofficial observances to create a calendar file (in .ics format) suitable for download and direct import or subscription in iCal, Outlook, Google Calendar, or (as far as I know) any other reputable calendar program. Here’s the link — drop that into your calendar, and never miss another Pi Day, Yellow Pig’s Day, or Day of the Ninja again (here’s an HTML version if you just want to look at it online)!

We’ve got bikes!

Getting bikes has been one of the things on our “we’d really like to do that someday” list for a long time, and sometime over the past few months, we’d decided that that was going to be my birthday present this year: bikes for me and Prairie. As spring has been getting closer, we’ve been getting more excited about the plan, and so this morning, as a combination of early birthday present and consolation after getting word that I didn’t get a job I’d interviewed for last week, we went up to Target and got ourselves new toys.

Boy on a Bike Girl on a Bike

Prairie, being a girl who likes pink, got a Schwinn Roxie Cruiser, and as I’m not a girl and not overly fond of pink, I got a Schwinn Comfort Gridlock. Yup, both the old standard Schwinn! Obviously, neither of us are cyclists (with the capital “C” and lots of spandex), so we got exactly what we wanted: a couple of decent, sturdy cruise-along-the-Green-River-Trail bikes.

Of course, along with the bikes were helmets, bike pumps, patch kits, and a silly little pink-with-flowers horn for Prairie’s bike, plus a rear carry rack for the car so we could get them home. Not a bad haul, overall.

As soon as we got home, we took them out for a short ride along the trail. While neither of us has had a bike in years (myself around ten or so, since well before I left Anchorage for Seattle; Prairie’s closer to at least a good fifteen years since she’s had one), it’s apparently quite true that you don’t forget how to ride, as both of us were off and riding without a problem. There’s a few minor tweaks to make to ensure that both bikes are adjusted properly for us, but that won’t take much. We’re really looking forward to biking around here over the summer (and if I’m lucky enough to find a job relatively close to our apartment, that could make commuting that much easier).

New toys!

The Norwescon Outfit I Didn’t Make

…because I have been short on time, money, initiative, know-how, or various combinations of all of the above.

What I wanted to do: prove that Starfleet’s more advanced mindset extended to sexual discrimination and choices in clothing. Just because all we’ve seen so far is slacks for men and women and (mini)skirts on women, I’m sure that doesn’t mean that that’s all there is.

(Note: actually, in first season TNG, there were a few men in unbifurcated uniforms, as evidenced by this Wikipedia mention and this slightly confused fan. However, these ‘skant‘ uniforms pretty much disappeared by the second season.)

The USS Utilikilt
The USS Utilikilt
The plan: customize a TOS Starfleet tunic and an Original Utilikilt (or even Workman’s or Survival, but those were even further out of my theoretical budget) with the logo you see to the right.

In order to find a way to work in the Utilikilts logo, I figured the uniform would have to be TOS style, when the insignia within the delta shield changed depending on the ship the crewmember was assigned to and before the standardization on the Enterprise’s ‘starburst’ central insignia. I wanted to use this design to create a custom patch in color (with the traditional gold background) for the tunic, plus one in black and white to go on the rear pocket of the Utilikilt.

Unfortunately, a number of things got in the way of completing (or even starting on) this project, from simply not having the money to drop on the tunic, a new Utilikilt, or having the custom patches made (and this was before I got laid off), to the Utilikilts people being swamped with work and unable to work on a custom kilt request at that time.

Still, this is what I wanted to do for this year’s Norwescon…and, to be honest, I still think it’d be fun to do it at some point in the future. I don’t know (and, to be honest, kind of doubt) if I’ll ever get around to it, but it’s fun to have it rattling around in my head.

International Talk Like William Shatner Day

In honor of William Shatner’s 78th birthday tomorrow today, 3/22/09, I am declaring March 22nd to be “International Talk Like William Shatner Day!” Hey, we have “International Talk Like a Pirate Day”, and Shatner inspired a helluva lot more kids to be like Captain James T. Kirk than any who wanted to be some smelly, toothless, “arrr”-spouting frickin’ pirate.

Now, since talking like our hero is a bit more challenging than walking around going, “Arrr”, I’ve included the following video tutorial for your edification, filmed by producer Bill Biggar, on a loooong drive to the airport on L.A.’s fabulous 405 freeway. Enjoy, and remember, it’s pronounced “sabotaaj”, not, “sabotahj”.