The War Prayer

This is so good.

The War Prayer, by Mark Twain

O Lord God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with pale forms of their patriotic dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst…for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives…. We ask it in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the source of all Love.

(via Terrance)

iTunesMasters of War” by Dylan, Bob from the album Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan, The (1963, 4:34).

It’s all in the name…

From an IRC conversation in #flickr this morning: how I first caught Prairie’s eye, and some very abnormal psychology.

djwudi: :nods
cygnoir: AHA! MUD person!
cygnoir points points.
djwudi: not quite…
djwudi: much as it shames me to say this — too many years in Yahoo! Crack
djwudi: when my work ‘puter wouldn’t let me install an IRC client
cygnoir: aaaah.
cygnoir: i used to hang out in the trivia rooms.
djwudi: I was in the Alaska rooms for years
cygnoir: as ‘HoneyIsBeeBarf’ and also ‘cygnoir’ and ‘halsted’ too.
djwudi: I had quite a few names
djwudi: started with djwudi
djwudi: most of the others…well, things just went downhill
djwudi: though I met my g/f because I was using the name ‘pyropedonecrobestiality’
cygnoir hehs.
cygnoir: whoa.
djwudi: she figured anyone with a name like that had to have some actual intelligence behind it
cygnoir: safe bet.
djwudi: it’s the short version of something a friend of mine came up with
cygnoir: so you have sex with dead, aflame, underaged animals.
djwudi: he and his g/f at the time were in an abnormal psych class
cygnoir: er not you.
djwudi: and one boring day, they strung together every term they could think of, then had to figure out what it meant
cygnoir: but the theoretical you.
djwudi: I don’t remember the entire actual word, but it ended up being the fear of being forced to pretend to have sex with an underaged, flaming, dead animal in a small, crowded wading pool at 14,000 feet.
cygnoir laughs.
cygnoir: then claustro and agora and hydro have to be in there.
cygnoir: and acro
djwudi: found it
djwudi: Pseudocoitoxenohematomysonecropyrobestio-acroclaustro-ochlohydrophobia
djwudi: The fear of being forced to pretend to have sex with the unfamiliar bloody infected corpse of a flaming animal at 15,000 feet in a small crowded wading pool.
bringo: oi veh
julian_the: …
djwudi laughs
djwudi: and there’s a conversation killer!
wirehead_: My my.
djwudi: and that’s responsible for getting me my girlfriend
djwudi: i’m not quite sure what that says about us

Whatever it says about us, I’m glad it caught her eye. :)

iTunesDoctorin’ the Tardis (12″)” by Timelords, The from the album Doctorin’ the Tardis (1991, 8:16).

Best. April. Fools. Story. EVAR!!!1!!11!

Courtesy of StarTrek.com:

With Star Trek: Enterprise hanging by a veritable thread the last two years, a new direction for the show has recently been unveiled that is being hailed both as a triumph of corporate synergy for the Viacom-owned Paramount Pictures, and a way to keep the show on the air.

[…]

Enter the darlings of Viacom-owned Comedy Central, Star Trek fans Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park. Parker and Stone, you may recall, also made Paramount’s “Team America: World Police,” which ran in theaters last year and comes out on DVD in May. The movie grossed only $50 million worldwide, but it turned a profit for the studio due to its low production budget.

“The pieces fall together brilliantly,” said a top Viacom spokesperson. “Matt and Trey take over Enterprise, and it’s all done with marionettes! It’s like Thunderbirds and Captain Scarlet all over. Gerry Anderson, watch out.”

[…]

Parker and Stone have already started making a shooting model of the Enterprise NX-01, thus reviving an old Star Trek tradition. “We prefer the look of physical, tangible models over CGI ships any day,” Parker said. “Of course, we have no visual effects budget whatsoever, so we won’t be painting out the strings. You’ll get used to it. Still trying to figure out where to put the propeller.”

“We’re also gonna re-do the opening title sequence,” Stone revealed. “Record a new theme — something bombastic, action-oriented. Y’know, something that isn’t, like, totally gay.”

Gothic…but not a Goth

Ogre‘s been running a “Kill Your Idols” week on his journal this week, asking people to take their favorite musician, filmmaker, author, and artist down a few notches. To wrap things up, today’s topic was ‘your scene‘, which prompted this brilliant post by chrisbynum that absolutely nails much of why I’ve never self-identified as “Goth”.

Goths, in general, are kind of pathetic. Goths over 25 are really pathetic. As a public service, you should all be made aware that there is a difference between conformity and just growing the fuck up.

The worst offense is self-identifying primarily as “a goth”; it is my biggest pet peeve: “Hi, I’m Vyxqwynn! I’m 29, I’m from Seattle, and I’m a goth…” I think “goth” should be an aspect of who you are, not what you are. I have been around this scene in Seattle for nearly a decade. I think I have a sincere appreciation of fundamental gothic principles and ideals, and many of my good friends are gothic in their styles and attitudes, but, hell no, I’m not a goth! More of a gothic cowboy, if anything, with a healthy does of old-school geek thrown in. After all, I own a horse and 19 seasons of Star Trek on DVD, but I do not have razor blade scars on my wrists. And besides, if you were really all that goth, you wouldn’t have to go around telling people all the time, now would you? :P

So be as gothi_c_ as you want to be — in your beliefs, your style, your self-expression, whatever — but, please, don’t be a goth…

To me, goth means two main things: 1) that subjective experience in any flavor is to be valued (this is actually a classical romantic ideal…), and 2) that settling for mediocrity is an affront to one’s own existence. These are the two principal gothic ideals I can really get behind. I think many self-professed “goths” have never considered either one of these issues and are simply too caught up in the superficial trappings of this fucked-up scene or in their own maladjusted affinity toward darkness, self-pity, and insatiable lust for attention of any kind to actually live gothic.

Y’know what the number one thing I hear goths talk about whenever they get together is? Fucking clothes.

Don’t get me wrong, I love clothes — including gothic clothes — but I’m not deluded enough to think my compulsion to own every expensive black leather or PVC Edward Scissorhands wearable I can snipe from someone on eBay somehow makes me superior to a guy wearing Dockers™. If I had a nickel for every really deep conversation I’ve heard between two goths in the last three months, I couldn’t park on Broadway for 10 minutes…

So keep on keepin’ on, batcavers, but, please, consider giving drama for drama’s sake a rest, and turn the attitude down a notch or so. I promise you’ll still be having plenty of fun, and you may actually have more energy to pursue the dark and important things in life that actually matter…

Damn straight. Yes, I wear primarily black, I listen to a lot of dark music, I’ve been hanging around the gothic scene for years, and I spent years DJing at goth/industrial/alternative clubs in Anchorage…but I’ve never wanted to lay claim to the title of “Goth”. Gothic, sure, occasionally — but not Goth.

For one thing, I’m not depressed enough.

I don’t write enough bad angst-ridden poetry, either. ;)

Unless James is reading this, in which case I’m still too goth for your punk ass, buck-o.

iTunesBlack #1” by Type O Negative from the album Bloody Kisses (1993, 11:15).

It’s only domestic violence if you’re straight

More news from Ohio regarding their ridiculous approach towards domestic violence. The law is being updated to close the loophole that limits domestic violence charges to married couples, which sounds good — but all’s not well yet.

A state lawmaker from northeast Ohio says he’ll introduce a bill this week to close a perceived loophole in the domestic-violence law created by the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Democratic state Representative William Healy of Canton says his bill would define domestic violence as an act committed when individuals reside together, regardless of marital status.

[…]

However, the change in the law will only affect heterosexuals in non married relationships. The domestic abuse law will not apply to same-sex couples because of the constitutional amendment.

Admittedly, better than last week — if you’re straight, of course — but still a long way from where it should be.

Regardless of your stance on gay marriage, a person’s sexuality should have absolutely no bearing on domestic violence cases. Whether you’re straight or gay, married or unmarried, or just roommates, the potential for abuse at the hands of someone you live with is something that everyone should have equal protection from under the eyes of the law.

Grrrr.

(via Terrance)

iTunesMadskillz/Mic Chekka” by BT from the album Movement in Still Life (2000, 4:52).