Nobody's tried this yet?

Frankly, I’d be more than a little surprised if nobody had attempted zero-g sex yet, no matter how strenuously NASA denies it. Still, if you’re looking to be the “official” first couple to give it a shot (and happen to be absolutely filthy rich), just give the Russian space agency a call!

THEY put the first man in space, then the first tourist. Now the Russians could make one wealthy couple the first members of the 240-mile-high club.

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In its latest attempt to develop space tourism, Russia is offering a pair of newlyweds the chance to swap Venice or Paris for a cosmic honeymoon on board the international space station.

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For $US48 million ($65 million) – the cost of a pair of space return tickets – the couple could become the first to experience the uncharted joys of sex in zero gravity.

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“It would bring the mile-high club to new heights,” said Rob Volmer of Space Adventures, the company that has teamed up with the Russian Aviation and Space Agency to offer the trip.

(via GothicVamps)

Books, sir…books.

What did we do for endless and disheartening time-sinks before computers? I never lost twenty hours trying to make a fridge work properly, or to make a chair I’d accidentally upgraded turn itself back into something you could sit on.

&mdash Neil Gaiman

Top Word Lists of 2003

Top 10 Words of 2003:\
embedded\
blog\
SARS\
spam\
taikonaut\
Bushism\
allision\
recall\
Middangeard\
celibacy YourDictionary.com has released their Top Word Lists of 2003: the Top Ten Words of 2003, Top Ten Personal Names of 2003, Top Ten Youthspeak Words, Bonus Youthspeak Phenomenon of Note, Top Phrases of 2003, 5 Top Mispronunciations by President Bush in 2003, Best New Product Names, Worst New Product Names, Top Enron Inspired Words, Top Internet Words Moving into Widespread Use, Top Sports-related Words, and Top Word Trends in Pop Music Names.

Most of the words and terms in the lists I’d heard before, though there were a few exceptions (Poolife?). I thought this bit at the very end was especially cool, though…

Most frequently spoken word on the Planet:

1. OK Still the most popular word in languages around the world. “OK” originated in a joke in the 1830’s, spelled “oll korrekt” in Boston newspapers, the joke being, both words were incorrect. It became so popular, that it was soon abbreviated to simply “O. K.” Despite its popularity, the word would have fallen by the wayside had not Martin van Buren, called “Old Kinderhook” for being born in Kinderhook, N.Y. used it in his presidential reelection campaign of 1840. So don’t “misunderestimate” the impact of presidential usage on the growth of our vocabulary. It is also spelled “okay.”

(via Scoble)

Bonus list: In the comments to Scoble’s post, Raymond Chen pointed out Merriam-Webster’s top 10 words of 2003, as determined by how frequently they were looked up on the online dictionary:

  1. democracy
  2. quagmire
  3. quarantine
  4. matrix
  5. marriage
  6. slog
  7. gubernatorial
  8. plagiarism
  9. outage
  10. batten

I need a new router

I’ve got \$75 of gift certificates to Best Buy thanks to a promotion through work, and I need to get a new router — but I don’t know quite which one to go for. Anyone have any suggestions?

Here’s the deal. Right now I’ve got a Linksys BEFSR11 firewall/router, but I’m really not happy with it at all. Ever since I bought it a few years ago, I’ve had to constantly struggle with it occasionally locking up. It appears to still be functioning, the lights still flash as if traffic is passing through, but no data will actually move from my LAN to the ‘net at large until I reset the router by unplugging it for a few seconds. I’ve upgraded the router’s firmware a few times over the years as updates have been released, but it’s never cured the issue.

I’d avoided the hassle for the past few months by taking the router out of the network — my PC was having issues, which dropped me down to only two functioning computers, and as I’ve got two IP addresses available, that worked fine — but after spending some time resurrecting the PC yesterday, I needed to put the router back into the mix. Sure enough, not ten minutes after it was back on the network I lost my connection. Grrr.

So, I need a new router, and I don’t want another Linksys. Nor do I want a Belkin, after their little destination hijacking spam trick two months ago. I don’t need to spring for a wireless router (three desktops in my apartment, none of which have wireless access cards, and I’ve already got Ethernet cable strung around the baseboards), so that should save a few dollars.

Looking at Best Buy’s Networking section online, they seem to concentrate on products from D-Link. Anyone have any experience with their routers, good or bad?

Still digging

(This post is mostly me whining. Feel free to ignore it.)

I’m so frigging tired of time and time again finally getting to a point where I feel like my finances are coming together and getting under control, only to have some catastrophe send everything spiralling downhill again. I end up in this same frustrating cycle over and over and over again, and it’s getting really old.

A few months ago, things were looking up. I had a good job, doing work I enjoyed, getting more experience under my belt, and getting a halfway decent paycheck (just a touch above $12/hr). I wasn’t out of debt — far from it — but I at least felt like I had a handle on things, and could foresee being able to pay everything off eventually.

Then I goofed up, and everything fell apart again. Suddenly unemployed, I had a month without any income, and if it hadn’t been for the kindness of friends and many strangers, I wouldn’t have been able to make rent that month. Even with rent being covered, all the other little day-to-day expenses (food, laundry, transportation, etc.) still ate away and what little savings I had, until things were looking pretty dire.

Thankfully that only went on for a month, but it dug a pretty decent hole, and now I’m facing troubles getting out of it. While I’m employed again, I’m earning about $2/hr less than I was before, and I now have more expenses (as my current employer doesn’t supply me with a bus pass as my last one did), plus I’m having to adjust from a weekly pay period to a bi-weekly pay period, which makes a huge difference in being able to plan and budget bills.

With the way pay periods since I’ve started have worked out, I had to float my rent check for December. The property management company apparently took their own sweet time putting the check through, which normally would be a good thing under the circumstances, but it ended up hitting my account at the same time some other bills did — sometime within the last two weeks.

I just deposited a $700 paycheck, and got my balance back as $175, indicating that I was around $500 overdrawn until my check went in — and another $650 in rent is due in about a week, with my next paycheck not appearing for another two weeks. ARGH!

Gah. It’s just frustrating. I’ll make it through, though it’ll probably be with a few bounced check fees here and there, and hopefully should at least be caught up to paycheck-to-paycheck living (rather than last-paycheck-to-last-paycheck living) within the next couple of months. I just hate being in the situation I’m in now.

Anyway. Just had to bitch and moan for a few minutes. Sorry ’bout that.

Nothing to see here…move along…

Talk about geek heaven!

The 'Glow Grave'

I just stumbled across this while perusing the Ship of Fools’ 12 Days of Kitchmas (which is well-worth visiting in itself), and just cannot get over this item: the ‘Glow Grave’ — a stainless-steel grave marker complete with an LCD display that can be hooked into a PC interface to change the epitaph whenever you want!

I can’t. Stop. Laughing.

All I want to do is put a motion detector or pressure sensor on one of these things and hook it into a computer attached to the display so that it can dynamically react to people coming by to visit the grave site. Once it detects someone standing at the grave site, the screen would suddenly start displaying messages from the dear departed…

“I see you!”
“Hey, buster, you’re on my head.”
“It’s hot down here!”
“I knew it — God uses a Mac.”
“Help! There’s no air!”
“These worms really itch.”
“God is a woman after all!”
“You’re next.”

The miracles of Christmas

The real miracles of Christmas, according to me:

Miracle One: In thirty years of Christmas seasons, to the best of my knowledge, I have never seen either It’s A Wonderful Life or A Christmas Story. Never. Not once. I haven’t gone out of my way to avoid seeing them, but I certainly haven’t gone out of my way to attempt to see them, either. For one reason or another, it just hasn’t happened.

Miracle Two: That despite having no less than three different versions of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” programmed into the in-store Muzak at work, resulting in my having to listen to that insipid song no less than 240 times over the past month (three times in a two-hour repeating block of music over eight hours, twelve times a day, 40 times a week, 240 times since Thanksgiving), not to mention being treated to innumerable different versions of every other Christmas song ever recorded every time I stepped out of the house since Thanksgiving, I still managed not to devolve into a gibbering psychopath and start randomly destroying speakers, PA systems, stereos, and random carolers whenever I passed them.

It was really, really, really tempting, though.

A quiet Christmas

It’s been a nice Christmas holiday this year. Due to financial difficulties, I wasn’t able to head up to Anchorage to be with my family for Christmas, so I ended up spending Christmas on my own for the first time in my life. While I missed being able to see family, all in all, it really wasn’t such a bad thing — there will be plenty of other chances for me to head back up to Alaska in the future (possibly even a few that aren’t in the dead of winter!), and it gave me a few days of just “me time” to kick back and relax without having to deal with the rigors of travel.

I’d originally thought I was going to work on Christmas Eve day, but things were slow enough at work that I ended up getting the day off after all. A nice surprise, though if I’d known earlier, it might have made the trip to Anchorage more likely, so there was a slight element of frustration, too. However, not being one to complain about an unexpected day off, I spent most of the day just relaxing at home, with a few hours of wandering around downtown Seattle watching all the last-minute holiday shoppers hurry from store to store.

On the way back home from my wander, I decided that I might as well do what I could to celebrate the Christmas holiday in my own particular style — and ducked into the theater to see Bad Santa. What a wonderfully horrid little movie! The entire thing is very, very wrong, and very, very funny. Definitely not a movie for everyone, but if you’re into black comedy and don’t mind a film taking quite a few outrageous shots at the Christmas season, it’s worth checking out.

After a bit more time goofing off at home, I headed up the hill that evening for Christmas Eve at the Vogue. What better way to spend Christmas Eve than at a goth club with a lot of people dressed in black and listening to dark music, right? ;) Hey, it works for me — especially as there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun with the night, and among the songs played at the club that night were a few of the songs from the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack.

Today’s been another day of nothing. A little dinking around on the ‘puter, a little reading and zoning out, and seeing Return of the King for the second time. My only frustration was that I’d intended on calling home to wish Mom, Dad and Kevin a merry Christmas — but I don’t have long distance, and I discovered today that my phone card had expired a couple of months ago. Of course, this being Christmas day, I don’t know of any open stores close to me where I could pick up a new phone card, so I may have to take care of that sometime in the next couple days and call them this weekend instead. Hopefully they’ll understand!

Return of the King nitpicks

Whenever I see a film, it usually takes me two viewings — or, if two viewings isn’t warranted, a few days after seeing the film — for me to really lock down my impressions of the film. The first time I go in, I essentially empty my mind, and accept the reality of the film as it’s presented to me, and it’s generally not until some time after the film, or after the second viewing, that I really start to analyze it on a more critical level. While this doesn’t give me much hope for a career as a professional reviewer, as I don’t like being overly critical on my initial viewing, I’ve found it generally tends to work well for me for solidifying — or altering — my opinions of movies in the long run.

After watching Return of the King for the second time today, I’m still quite solidly convinced that Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy is, quite simply, one of the greatest achievements in filmmaking in recent years. However, that doesn’t stop me from finding the occasional odd thing to mention…such as two goofs, and a few choices that I’m not entirely happy with.

First off, the goofs — and why not start with the worst of the two that I noticed?

One of the most beautiful shots in the trailer for The Two Towers was a sweeping helicopter shot of Eddoras that started close in on Eowyn as she stood before the Great Hall, then pulled back and around, giving an incredible panorama of Eddoras and the surrounding countryside. That shot never made it into the final cut of The Two Towers (either the theatrical or the extended version), but about half of it has been used in Return of the King as the opening shot of Eddoras as the Rohirrim return home from Helm’s Deep. Unfortunately, in a surprisingly bad choice, rather than moving from Eowyn out, we start with a wide shot of Eddoras and track in…which required running the already filmed shot backwards, something which is made all too obvious by the smoke being apparently sucked into the chimneys of the houses! Someone wasn’t paying quite as much attention as the should have been when that shot was approved.

Now on to goof number two. Just after Eowyn dispatches the Witch King and his fell beast, she turns to comfort the fallen Theoden, and we see them from directly above. We see Eowyn crouched over her father, who lies on his back on the ground, the corpse of his horse across the lower part of his torso. We can see his upper torso from approximately waist level and up, but we can also see his boots projecting from underneath the horse. As far as I can tell, either his boots were knocked off during the fall (and just happened to fall where they did, both with the toes pointed upwards), or Theoden was actually somewhere around eight or nine feet tall! It’s a fairly short shot, but once I saw his feet sticking out from underneath the horse’s belly, it was a little hard to suppress a slight laugh.

As far as editing choices I wish had been different, there are four that really stick out to me.

First off, along with many other people, I really wish that we’d been given some closure with Saruman. Considering how much of a presence he was in the first two films, having him so conspicuously absent this time is definitely somewhat jarring, and for some reason it seemed to be more so this time around. Not only would it have given us more satisfaction than an almost casual “well, we just don’t have to worry about him anymore,” it would have helped to explain Pippin’s discovery of the Palantir lying in the waters outside Isengard — which as it is, without seeing Wormtongue’s foolish tantrum where he tries to bean Gandalf with whatever he can find at hand to throw, seems far too convenient of a coincidence. Of course, I’d also like to see Wormtongue get his comeuppance after Saruman realizes what he’s just managed to do, too…

I kind of wish that either the sequence where the Witch King tells one of his Orc henchman that he will deal with Gandalf had been left out, or the confrontation between the two on the ramparts of Minas Tirith had been left in. Instead, now we have a setup with no payoff. It’s easy enough to rationalize it away — that the battle was hectic enough that the Witch King ended up confronting Eowyn before he got around to Gandalf — but it still ends up feeling a little kludgy.

Also, some resolution with the Orc commander would have been good. He’s a definite presence all throughout the taking of Osgiliath and the first part of the siege of Minas Tirith, but then he just disappears in the chaos — again, setup without payoff.

In a series where the main bad guy is never actually realized as a physical presence beyond the prologue sequence in The Fellowship of the Ring, it seems to me that it’s important for us to get as much resolution as possible with the bad guys that we do get to see. In TFotR we had Lurtz (the leader of Saruman’s band of Uruk-Hai), and in TTT we had Saruman (while we didn’t see the final resolution to his storyline, we did get the satisfaction of watching the Ents lay waste to Isengard while Saruman watched and fumed from the balcony). In RotK, of the three possible cathartic victories — Saruman, the Orc Commander, and the Witch King — we only got to see one of them. Admittedly, the one we did get to see was wonderful (even with a more reserved audience than that of opening weekend at the Cinerama, her “I am no man!” line still got cheers and applause from the audience), but it would have been more satisfying if Saruman and the Orc commander had been dealt with on screen as well.

And lastly, as much as I enjoy the opening sequence giving us Gollum’s backstory, I can’t help but think that Andy Serkis adopted the Gollum personality far too quickly. I’d always understood Gollum’s persistent use of “us” when referring to himself as an indication of his split personality between Gollum, twisted and corrupted by the Ring, and Smeagol, the essentially good Hobbit-like creature unfortunately ensnared by the will of Sauron. That impression is only strengthened in sequences where, when Smeagol confronts Gollum, the Smeagol personality refers to himself as “I” or “me”, where the Gollum personality continues to refer to itself as “us”. It’s as if Gollum, as the Ring and the will of Sauron, knows that no matter how strong his hold over his victim is, there is still some slight danger that Smeagol will reassert himself, and so Gollum must continually keep watch and keep Smeagol under control.

However, in RotK’s prologue sequence, Serkis lapses into his “Gollum voice” as soon as he sees the Ring being held by Deagol, instantly demanding that Deagol “gives it to us.” I don’t remember offhand just how this was handled in the book, but I’d always had it in my head that the division between Smeagol and Gollum and the self-referential “us” would have appeared over time as Smeagol battled for what sense of himself he could retain under the influence of the Ring. And, even if the plural form of self address was an affectation of Smeagol’s before coming into possession of the Ring, I would have preferred it if the “Gollum voice” didn’t kick in until later on in his deterioration.

The really funny thing for me is that with the things I’ve outlined above — especially the last four points, as goofs can creep into any movie, no matter how well planned — I find RotK as a single movie the least deserving of a Best Picture Oscar than either FotR or TTT. Taking all three as single entities in and of themselves, I’d probably put FotR at the top of the heap, with RotK just after it and TTT at the end. Now, taking all three as a single entity, especially when factoring in the Extended Edition versions of the first two (and projecting the extended version of RotK, as some of the issues I brought up are supposed to be addressed in its extended DVD release next November), I think that not only does the entire Lord of the Rings series deserve just about every Oscar in the book, but that Peter Jackson should be given some sort of special achievement award for being able to so successfully translate Tolkein’s work to film (is it too early in his career for a lifetime achievement award?). I just find RotK’s theatrical version to be the clumsiest of the three theatrical releases.

In any case, it was still a lot of fun to see the movie again in the theater, and I definitely look forward to adding it to my collection to view many more times over the coming years. All of the nitpicks I have with the film are really fairly minor in the long run, and as mentioned, the Extended Edition should take care of a good number of them upon its release. Too bad that’s not until next November!