If Abraham Lincoln grew up on AOL…

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FOUR SCORA AND SEV3N Y3ARS AGO OUR FATHERS BROUGHT FORTH ON THIS CONTIENNT A NU NATION CONCAIEVD IN LIEBRTY AND D3DICAETD 2 TEH PROPOSITION TAHT AL MAN R CR3AETD AQUAL!1!!!11! LOL NOW WA R ENGAEGD IN A GR3AT CIVIL WAR TESTNG WHETHAR TAHT NATION OR ANY NATION SO CONC3IEVD AND SO D3DICAETD CAN LONG ENDURE!1!!1 OMG WTF WE R M3T ON A GRAAT BATLEFEILD OF TAHT WAR!1!1! OMG WTF WE HAEV COMA 2 DADICAET A PORTION OF TAHT FEILD AS A FINAL R3STNG-PLAEC FOR THOS3 WHO HER3 GAEV THEYRE LIEVS TAHT TAHT NATION MIGHT LIEV!!!!!11! WTF IT IS AL2GETH3R FITNG AND PROPER TAHT WE SHUD DO THIS

BUT1111!!! LOL IN A LARGER SANSE WE CANOT D3DICAET W3 CANOT CONS3CRAET WE CANOT HALOW THIS GROUND11!!!!!1 WTF DA BRAEV MEN LIVNG AND D3AD WHO STRUGLED HER3 HAEV CONSECRAETD IT FAR ABOVE OUR POR POWER 2 AD OR DETRACT!!11 OMG TEH WORLD WIL LITLE NOTE NOR LONG REM3MBR WUT WE SAY HERE BUT IT CAN NEVER FORGET WT DID HERE

IT1!1!! OMG WTF IS FOR US DA LIVNG RATHAR 2 B DADICAETD HARE 2 TEH UNFINISHED WORK WHICH TH3Y WHO FOUGHT HERE HAEV THUS FAR SO NOBLY ADVANCED111!!! LOL IT IS RATHAR FOR US 2 B H3RE DADICAETD 2 DA GREAT TASK REMANENG BFORA US-TAHT FROM THESE HONORAD DAAD WE TAEK INCRAAESD DEVOTION 2 TAHT CAUS3 FOR WHICH TH3Y GAEV DA LAST FUL MAASURE OF DAVOTION-TAHT WE HARE HIGHLY R3SOLV3 TAHT THASA D3AD SHAL NOT HAEV DEID IN VANE TAHT THIS NATION UNDER GOD SHAL HAEV A NU BIRTH OF FREDOM AND TAHT GOVERNM3NT OF DA PEOPL3 BY DA PAOPLE FOR DA PEOPL3 SHAL NOT PERISH FROM TEH 3ARTH1!!!11!! WTF

(courtesy of The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator, via Phil)

The Dangers of Molasses

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One of the country’s most bizarre disasters ever happened to the city of Boston, Massachusetts, on the afternoon of January 15, 1919. An unusual warm spell had cheered people at the north end of the city, raising the temperature from around zero to the mid-40’s, and business went on as usual.

Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, disaster struck. On a hill above the city, a 90-foot wide tank of molasses intended to be used for production of rum suddenly ruptured, sending two and a half million gallons of molasses in a wall eight to fifteen feet high down into the unsuspecting Boston neighborhood at speeds of up to 35 miles per hour. 21 people were killed, and 150 were injured.

That day’s Boston Evening Globe described the scene:

Fragments of the great tank were thrown into the air, buildings in the neighborhood began to crumple up as though the underpinnings had been pulled away from under them, and scores of people in the various buildings were buried in the ruins, some dead and others badly injured.

The explosion came without the slightest warning. The workmen were at their noontime meal, some eating in the building or just outside, and many of the men in the Department of Public Works Buildings and stables, which are close by, and where many were injured badly, were away at lunch.

Once the low, rumbling sound was heard no one had a chance to escape. The buildings seemed to cringe up as though they were made of pasteboard.

Legal battles followed, of course, but eventually the fault was laid at the feet of the owners of the molasses vat for failing to properly reinforce the vat, and they had to pay out more than a million dollars in damages.

The terrible thing about this disaster was that it was entirely avoidable! In fact, the people of Boston were wary from the beginning of having a large molasses factory on top of a hill. They saw what could happen. However, the head of the factory spoke to the mayor, who in turn spoke to the people of Boston, and succeeded in convincing them that with the amount of money the factory would make, the people would get some of it as the factory spent money and bought goods et cetera. The people accepted this, and allowed the factory to be built.

When you look at it, it’s terribly sad.

21 people were killed — all for the treacle down effect.

When snow in Anchorage makes the news…

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…you know it’s been coming down pretty heavily. Just another reason why I’m glad I left Alaska!

All over town, people dug out Monday morning, moving 7 to 11 inches of new snow that had fallen since Sunday night. It was the sixth day in a row with significant snow, amounting to about 2 feet since Dec. 17 and more than 20 inches since Friday.

Sunday’s snowfall set a record of 5.3 inches — measured near the airport — for Dec. 21. The old record was 3.1 inches, set in 1954.

[…]

City crews had been working 24 hours a day with 58 graders, blowers and sanders since 4 a.m. Friday, Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich said Monday. Even without more snow, it would take more than a week to catch up.

(via Dad)

NYPD cop busted for blogging

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A NYPD police officer is under investigation because of what he wrote on his weblog. However, where when I landed in hot water due to my blog it was due to a single stupid mistake, this guy appears to have been bragging about grossly abusing his position as an officer of the law.

A Brooklyn cop is being investigated for Internet postings in which he brags about beating suspects, writing phony tickets and ignoring calls to his precinct.

The officer, identified by Internal Affairs investigators as a patrol cop who works in the 75th Precinct, uses the pseudonym “Brooklynbacon” and posts his messages on a site accessible through Xanga.com.

Alongside pictures of motorcycle trick riders, naked women, photographs with comical captions and pictures of human oddities, he posts messages supposedly about his job and, in some instances, his own misconduct. Any one of the offenses he describes could cost him his job.

Either the guy is telling the truth (and therefore a disturbing mix of braggart, ass, and idiot), or it’s all a fiction playing off the popular perception of NYPD officers (in which case he’s just an ass and an idiot). Either way, the stories he posted are more than serious enough to warrant landing him in hot water.

(via Say Anything)

Got it, got it, need it, got it, not a chance, need it, got it…

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While I’m still partial to the “Old School” purity tests, Kirsten pointed out a page that bills itself as the ‘ultimate’ purity test, and I had to give it a shot…

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is…
Category Your Score Average
Self-Lovin’ 21.7%
I wouldn’t shake hands, if I were you		 65%
Shamelessness 57.1%
It takes a couple of drinks		 79.4%
Sex Drive 15.8%
Humps fire hydrants when nobody’s looking		 77.7%
Straightness 1.8%
Knows the other body type like a map		 44.9%
Gayness 58.9%
Had that experience at camp		 83.4%
Fucking Sick 70.8%
Dipped into depravity		 89.9%
You are 40.15% pure
Average Score: 72.6%

Just to clarify, the numbers refer to how pure I am in any particular category — in other words, I’m only 1.8% pure in the “Straightness” category, so I’m 98.2% impure (not much I haven’t done) for that category. As for the rest…no, I won’t elaborate in public. So sorry. ;)

Famous Faces

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(Just after a customer picks up a job…)

“That guy looked familiar.”

“Yeah, I had the same thought.”

“I think he was in a band.”

“…wasn’t everyone in Seattle in a band at some point?”

“Good point.”

(A few minutes later…)

“Ha! I was right!”

“Really?”

“Yup — he was in the Murder City Devils.”

“Good eye.”

TypePad User Group

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It’s plug time!

I’ve been hanging out on the TypePad User Group for a while now. It’s a great little resource for TypePad users — entirely unofficial, but a good place to go as a first resource for figuring out issues with coding and maintaining TypePad weblogs.

We’ve noticed that while there are a lot more TypePad weblogs popping up, it’s lost some of the “community” feel that it had in the beta test days, and it was suggested that…well, I’ll let authenticgeek speak for himself:

I think this forum is an awesome place to get info about TypePad.

>

There is just one small problem, TypePad is growing at such an huge rate and we’re not getting as many new users as we should be. Sure, it’s not a requirement to show up here if you’re on TypePad but I think there are people out there that should know about this place that don’t.

>

Any ideas for how we can better get the word out to new TypePad users? We could even talk to Ben/Mena about possibly getting an official link here from the TypePad site since I’m sure they don’t have the time to answer so many little questions about CSS and whatnot.

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I’m going to make another post on my blog to remind people (the few who read) about this place. I urge other members (especially people with massive hits ahem djwudi…) to do the same and submit any other means for spreading the word.

See? They just want me for my potential hit-generating ability…;)

All joking aside, it is a good place to go for information, questions and answers. Feel free to drop on by.

Tower ghost filmed

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story.ghost.ap.jpg

This may seem a bit off, this time of year — more appropriate for Halloween, perhaps — but the story fascinated me…

Closed-circuit security cameras at Hampton Court Palace, the huge Tudor castle outside London, seem to have snagged an ethereal visitor. Could it be a ghost?

“We’re baffled too — it’s not a joke, we haven’t manufactured it,” said Vikki Wood, a Hampton Court spokeswoman, when asked if the photo the palace released was a Christmas hoax. “We genuinely don’t know who it is or what it is.”

Wood said security guards had seen the figure in closed-circuit television footage after checking it to see who kept leaving open one of the palace’s fire doors.

In the still photograph, the figure of a man in a robe-like garment is shown stepping from the shadowy doorway, one arm reaching out for the door handle.

The area around the man is somewhat blurred, and his face appears unnaturally white compared with his outstretched hand.

“It was incredibly spooky because the face just didn’t look human,” said James Faukes, one of the palace security guards.

“My first reaction was that someone was having a laugh, so I asked my colleagues to take a look. We spoke to our costumed guides, but they don’t own a costume like that worn by the figure. It is actually quite unnerving,” Faukes said.

(via Prairie)