April Fools!

Well, yeah, okay, so it’s the 2^nd^ now. In lieu of actually posting any sort of joke, a few fun April Fool’s links:

First off, two self-links (because my ego is just that out of control). Neither of these were April Fools posts, but they fit in with the spirit of the day — just me having fun.

  1. Hippies on Mars! Inspired by a photograph of Mars that, because of false-color imaging that made it look like a tie-dye pattern, I mangled a NASA press release. Groovy.
  2. Mars needs a facelift! After seeing some high-resolution pictures of the Cydonian “face” on Mars that effectively proved that it didn’t really look like a face after all, I decided that that wasn’t nearly entertaining enough. The end result is still one of my favorite pieces of inspired sillyness. I did my best to write the entire piece from the mindset of your typical conspiracy/UFO kook, and apparently pulled it off — one reader told me that until my giveaway lines at the end, he was convinced I was entirely off my rocker. High praise indeed, under the circumstances!

Other fun links:

  1. The top 100 April Fool’s Day hoaxes of all time, from the Museum of Hoaxes. Some of these I’d heard of before, some I hadn’t. Quite a few are worth a giggle. (via /.)
  2. Also from the Museum of Hoaxes, the top ten college pranks of all time. The number one spot is well deserved, and the number ten spot has amused me for a few years, though I never knew it was originally an MIT prank. Learn something new every day! (via tbmaddux)
  3. The MIT Gallery of Hacks tracks the best of the infamous MIT hacks (“a clever, benign, and \” ethical \” prank or practical joke, which is both challenging for the perpetrators and amusing to the MIT community [and sometimes even the rest of the world!]”). People with too much intelligence and a sense of humor. (via i22y)

Bow down before the one you serve

Woody wins!

Well, I conquered the world tonight. Twice actually. Now all I need to do is find someone who…

  • …has a Mac…
  • …runs Mac OS X…
  • …has a copy of iConquer
  • …and is awake between the hours of 11pm and 2am, PST.

Might be a tall order there, actually.

The same way in any country

We got around to the subject of war again and I said that, contrary to his attitude, I did not think that the common people are very thankful for leaders who bring them war and destruction.

“Why, of course, the people don’t want war,” Goering shrugged. “Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece. Naturally, the common people don’t want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship.”

“There is one difference,” I pointed out. “In a democracy the people have some say in the matter through their elected representatives, and in the United States only Congress can declare wars.”

“Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country.”

— from Nuremberg Diary by Gustave Gilbert, found in this essay, via Doc Searls

Where do we go from here?

Something to think about, courtesy of Daily Kos:

When the Democrats take the White House in 2004, they will face a daunting task — a government in DEEP red, starved of tax revenues by the irresponsible borrow and spend Republicans. They will face a hostile word, uniting in opposition to US interests, regardless of their legitimacy. They will need to deal with joblessness, a double-dip recession, and corporate scandals.

But most daunting of all, they will need a solution to the Iraq mess.

For purposes of this thought experiment lets assume the most probably outcome — a relatively quick takeover of Baghdad and Basra, 2-6 weeks from now. A restive population, suicide attacks against our forces, a massive army of occupation, unrest in the Arab street, and skyrocketing costs to hold and rebuild Iraq.

So pretend you are a presidential candidate. It is November of this year. Iowa is a few short months away and Iraq is the issue dominating the news. You are asked: “What’s your plan for Iraq”?

How do you answer?

I’m sure I’m woefully unqualified to give this a truly decent stab, but hey. That never stopped me before, right?

  • Apologize to the U.N., and to the world at large. More precisely, don’t be afraid to do a little ass-kissing. We used to have many allies all over the world. We could again, if a new administration could admit that the previous administration made mistakes, and was willing to work with the U.N. and other nations, rather than playing the role of the schoolyard bully and running roughshod over them.
  • Launch/allow a non-partisian (possibly U.N.-led) investigation into the buildup to the Iraqi invasion. There is a lot of evidence that our invasion of Iraq has been discussed and planned in certain circles for at least the past decade, and that September 11th is being used as (poor) justification through blatantly propagandistic (er…is that a word?) means. If we truly believe that Bush is not just egotistical, self-centered, and stupid in his approach, and is actually breaking both U.S. and international law, then we should have the guts to look into that, and face the possibility of consequences if it is found that the U.S. acted unjustly in invading Iraq.
  • Work as quickly as possible to decrease U.S. military presence in Iraq. This alone needs several smaller steps, of course.
    • Establish a new Iraqi government. This new governing body would most likely need to involve as few current Iraqi political leaders as possible, as they’re all probably exteremely closely tied to Hussein’s politics and tactics. Possibly create a governing body supplied at least in part by U.N. approved personnel to assist the Iraqi goverment in rebuilding and reinventing itself.
    • Establish a U.N. peacekeeping force. Rather than relying solely on our own soldiers, use a multinational force through the U.N. to keep the peace. The goal should not be to try to enforce U.S. policies, but to keep retalitory violence (both among what various Iraqi political and religious factions might exist, and between Iraqi militants and U.S. military personnel) to a minimum.
  • Let other nations assist in the rebuilding of the Iraqi infrastructure. Contracts to rebuild and recreate the Iraqi physical and business landscape are already being dolled out to U.S. companies. While in one sense this is a mess very much of our own making, and we should play a large part in cleaning up after ourselves, it’s no secret that from a business perspective, there could be much to be gained in having a hand in the post-war reconstruction of Iraq. If other nations — and companies based in other nations — are willing to take on a share of the burden, then let them have a share of the profits, also.
  • In short, convince the world that the U.S. isn’t in this purely for its own interests. Not an easy thing to do, but not impossible, either.

Naïvely idealistic, I’m sure, and not likely to ever happen. But I can hope. Of course, as I said at the beginning, I’m incredibly unqualified to do justice to a question like this — feel free to pick apart what I’ve posted, and toss other ideas about.

More music

Two more anti-war music links:

  • Zach de la Rocha and DJ Spooky: March of Death
  • Meshell Ndegeocello: Forgiveness and Love (Turn down the volume on your speakers first — the ‘music off’ button to kill the site’s background music is a tiny little button in the top right. Click on ‘downloads’ on the grey menu bar towards the top of the window, then you’ll find the download link in an orange box towards the bottom. I try to support artists by driving traffic to their sites, but Flash-based websites make it really tempting just to go ahead and post the direct download link [ahem] even though that’s considered ‘bad form.’ Anyway…)

(Via the NION Music Project)

On your knees, part II

From ABC News:

They may be the ones facing danger on the battlefield, but US soldiers in Iraq are being asked to pray for President George W Bush.

Thousands of marines have been given a pamphlet called “A Christian’s Duty,” a mini prayer book which includes a tear-out section to be mailed to the White House pledging the soldier who sends it in has been praying for Bush.

Good thing we only let good Christian boys into our Army…

…oh, forget it. You get the point.

(Via Tom Tomorrow)

Too…many…windows…

I’ve been told I need to stop posting so much information on my site, as the subsequent preponderance of tabs was threatening to take over one of my reader’s windows.

djwudi.com tabs

Not wanting to cause any undue stress to any of my five loyal readers, I should probably resolve that henceforth, I shall no longer blog about anything other than my pets, what I ate for lunch each day, and the annoying things that my co-workers did today.

Unfortunately, I don’t have pets, I tend to forget to eat lunch on a fairly regular basis, and now that I’ve moved to a new position at work, I’m not dealing with annoying co-workers on a regular basis.

So I’m afraid you’ll all just have to put up with the usual blather.

My humble apologies.

;)