Humor

Things that make me laugh, or that I think will make others laugh.

Re-Meme (‘Michael is…’)

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There’s a meme going around the ‘net right now (I’ve seen it on at least seven different blogs over the past day or so, I’m not going to search them all out) where you do a Google search for “$yourname is” (where $yourname is your name, and including the quotation marks) and pick the best ten results to post.

Rather than join in, I’ll just point you to the post where I did this two and a quarter years ago. :)

iTunes “Calling All Angels” by Lang, K.D./Siberry, Jane from the album Until the End of the World (1991, 5:11).

The DJ Test

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Rebecca just got a job as a professional DJ for AMS Entertainment, and in her post celebrating her successful certification, mentioned that she’d had to take a test to get the job. This struck my sense of humor, and has prompted the following exchange…

Rebecca:

I just passed the test today, I’m finally a certified DJ for AMS Entertainment!! My first event is this Saturday afternoon!

Me:

…there’s a test for DJ’ing? (boggle) Is it multiple choice?

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Bad Timing

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There’s a guy who works in the mailroom just down the hall from me who greets me every time he sees me by calling my name out in kind of a sing-song fashion — “Mi-chael…!” It’s a little odd, but not really a big deal.

Unless he does it as he enters the restroom, while I’m standing at the urinal. Suddenly, my name is echoing from tile wall to tile wall, and, well, as delicately as I can put it, all bodily functions immediately cease. That’s just not a good time to be startled.

Shmoe.

Phrase Origins

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Mom forwarded this to me today. I can’t personally vouch for the accuracy of everything in here, but it all sounds pretty reasonable to me, and there’s some fun tidbits in here.

Update: I really should have thought to check the Urban Legends Reference Pages first (seriously…I know better!). Status: False. Thanks to Ryan for pointing that out.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts about the 1500s:

These are interesting…

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.”

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She struggled to what?

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  1. Kottke seems to be resurrecting an old meme. Evidence:

  1. I got curious how many other people had participated in the meme, and did a Google Search for one sentence in the post.

  2. Google returned 162 hits.

  3. However — and this is what made all this funny to me — Google also suggested that maybe that wasn’t really what I wanted to search for. Maybe I really wanted to search for the phrase, “She still had the training wheels on as she wobbled and struggled to paddle.“

  4. It’s amazing how different the results are when you change one little letter.

Tsunami Early Warning System

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(Mom sent this to dad and me, with the following note attached: “My boss’ mailbox was full and I had to remove some items, which means forwarding them to my computer.  This was among them the ones I forwarded.  I thought my guys would appreciate this.”)

After the massive destruction of the south Asia tsunami, the Red Cross has decided to distribute FREE Tsunami Early Warning System/ Earthquake Detectors.

Earthquakes can be dangerous.

Especially at beaches where Tsunamis can occur.

Know the signs to watch for of a nearby earthquake!

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Another bad headline

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Best headline of the day award:

No More Bear Meat in Glory Hole

It probably says more about my own sick, twisted little mind immediately going for the worst possible interpretation, but my first parsing of this was that it was no longer permissible for large, hirsuite gay men to receive anonymous blowjobs.

It’s actually about a Juneau, Alaska homeless shelter — named, for some unfortunate reason, the Glory Hole — which just realized that it’s illegal for them to serve donated game meat, including bear.

Gave me a good laugh, though.

iTunes “Walking In My Shoes (Random Carpet)” by Depeche Mode from the album Walking In My Shoes (1993, 6:10).