Enthusiastically Ambiverted Hopepunk
Things that make me laugh, or that I think will make others laugh.
Oh, so you think the fuzzy handcuffs your sweetie gave you for Valentine’s Day are cool, huh? Kind of funny, maybe something to add a little “spice” to your sex life if you get the nerve?
That’s nothin’.
Check out what I got from Prairie for Valentine’s Day this year…
Today’s comic from Joy of Tech is a must-see.
Admiral Nechayev is such a bitch! How come she gets to be an Admiral and I don’t? Is it because I was a Borg? It’s not fair!!!
No psycho slayer is going to get between you and your right to life. You’re an ass-kicker, a charge taker, and if need be, a monster masher. You’re level-headed in sticky situations, you trust yout instincts, and you’re not afraid to get a little dirty while getting the job done. Simply put, you rock! But don’t get carried away. Even though your little brother might act like a creep sometimes, you definately shouldn’t be driving stakes through his heart!
Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She’s Crafty
Remember how I was talking about my overactive imagination about a week ago? I had a conversation with Prairie yesterday that reminded me of a couple of perfect examples of this.
The freakin’ Muppets used to give me nightmares. How sad is that?
There are two specific Muppet-related nightmares that I remember clearly. And I do mean clearly — they don’t scare me anymore, but the memories are vivid enough (especially for someone who generally doesn’t remember their dreams) that I know they were pretty traumatizing at the time.
I don’t know if the first was based upon any specific Muppet episode or not. All I do remember is walking through my house at night, with huge — and by huge, I mean the size of large dogs — fuzzy Muppet spiders crawling out of hampers, through doors, over windowsills, and generally throughout the house, trying to get me.
The second is, in retrospect, the more amusing of the two. One of the recurring skits on the Muppet Show was a newscaster reading some bizarre bit of news, after which he’d invariably fall victim to whatever gag he was setting up. In one particular skit, the news item was about strange cases of household furniture suddenly coming alive and attacking people. Of course, after reading the news flash, suddenly his desk opened its eyes, the drawer slid open like a mouth, and it chased him off set.
For months after that, I’d have nightmares of being chased around the house by furniture with big googley Muppet eyes and foam teeth.
It’s funny now. But at that point?
Muppets were scary!
“Long Time” by Clumsy Lovers, The from the album Barnburner (1999, 3:31).
WARNING:
A scam is being pulled, mainly on older men.
What happens is that when you stop for a red light, a young nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing this, another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car.
They are very good at this: They got me 7 times Friday and 5 times Saturday.
I wasn’t able to find them on Sunday.
(via the Urban Legends Reference Pages, because apparently some people can’t figure out that this is a joke)
Every so often over the past day or so, I’ve seen headlines like this one — “Schieffer is interim replacement for Rather” — only as I didn’t have a clue who this “Schieffer” person was, my brain would conveniently drop the ‘e’, turning the name into “Schiffer”.
So for the past day, I’ve had the vague notion that Dan Rather’s replacement news anchor would be Claudia Schiffer (Google Image Search link, probably NSFW).
Hey, I’d certainly be more interested.
“Platinum on Black: The Final Chapter (full mix)” by Various Artists from the album Platinum on Black: The Final Chapter (full mix) (1998, 1:16:24).
How many Bush Administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?
None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. There is no shortage of filament. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
(via BOP)
Something interesting (sorry if I’m repeating someone above): ‘nuclear’ is the adjectival form of ‘nucleus’, which comes from the Latin ‘nuculeus’, from ‘nucula’ the diminutive of ‘nux’, meaning ‘nut’. So the at some point the ‘u’ between the ‘c’ and ‘l’ was dropped (and at that point would have probably been considered a mispronunciation).
My theory – it’s Bush’s comprehensive knowledge of and fluency in Latin that leads to his pronunciation.
“Al-Salooq” by Ozric Tentacles from the album Arborescence (1994, 5:02).
This is one of the funniest things I’ve seen today: Netflix’ summary for a movie titled ‘Sexmission‘ (emphasis mine)…
Director Juliusz Machulski’s bawdy comedy envisions a world where the only men left are Albert (Olgierd Lukaszewicz) and Maks (Jerzy Stuhr), two pals spared destruction because they were frozen as part of an experiment. When they awaken, the League of Women’s Lib runs the planet, and their archeologists believe Albert and Maks are a species predating the female human race. Can the men repopulate the globe with their gender? Note: Contains nudity.
I’m so glad they warned me about the nudity. I might not have guessed otherwise, and Lord knows I wouldn’t want to watch anything with any nekkid people in it.
That’s just disgusting.
Bunch ‘a preverts.
“I Sit on Acid ’95” by Lords of Acid from the album Do What You Wanna Do (1995, 4:31).
The Windows Error Message Generator allowed me to recreate (to the best of my ability) the single funniest and most exasperating error messages I’ve ever seen on a Windows machine. I don’t remember what I was doing, but I ran across this dialog box while on one of the Windows boxes at my old job at Kinko’s in Anchorage:
Not only did it give no indication of just what had gone wrong, but it told you to stop whatever it was you were doing without providing a ‘Cancel’ button. Just ‘Stop’ — ‘Okay’. A definite funny-because-it’s-stupid moment.
(via Boing Boing)
“I Love You…I’ll Kill You” by Enigma from the album Cross of Changes, The (1993, 8:50).