Tight Jeans

I just recently subscribed to Wonkette and started reading on a regular basis. One of the things they feature is daily missives from the White House pool of reporters — brief snippets of the day’s events, some of which are later turned into full reports, others are left by the wayside. What I’m really enjoying about a lot of these is the off-the-cuff humor that keeps popping up…

Flight and motorcade uneventful. Bush was accompanied on AF1 by his daughter Barbara, in tight jeans, and by Dan Bartlett and Karl Rove, who were not wearing tight jeans.

Give us a sign, Lord!

Many of the signs and billboards in the Orlando area were no match for Hurricane Charley. However, one billboard resisted the 100-mile per hour winds of the eye wall of the storm. While the billboard still stands, the advertisement that was there when Hurricane Charley hit was peeled back to reveal an earlier message. When the sun rose the next morning on Sand Lake Road in Orlando the words on the billboard clearly read:

We need to talk.

(via Twilight Cafe, verfied on Snopes)

Gonna need a really big mop…

From a conversation with Kirsten this evening. It started with global warming, and then went seriously off course…

Me: give global warming another few years, I might not whine so much about visiting alaska…

Kirsten: yeah you will
Kirsten: alaska’s going to go to shit, especially in the interior, if global warming gets worse, imho
Kirsten: but until it really starts going, no one will complain

Me: oh, sure, bring logic and realism into it
Me: spoilsport

Kirsten: oh sorry
Kirsten: i forgot
Kirsten: until bush gets booted, we can all continue living in a fantasy world
Kirsten: yay!
Kirsten: no global warming!
Kirsten: the war in iraq is peaches baby!

Me: :laughs
Me: yup!
Me: democracy everywhere

Kirsten: bush is smart!
Kirsten: there will be no draft!
Kirsten: exactly

Me: it’s a big ol’ democracy spoogefest

Kirsten: world peace!
Kirsten: LOL
Kirsten: democracy spoogefest

Me: yeah

Kirsten: you’re fucking hilarious

Me: lol
Me: a sudden mental image of Bush ejaculating democracy all over the globe
Me: funny, but disturbing

Ewww. Ha-ha — but ewww. ;)

iTunesBy-Tor and the Snow Dog” by Rush from the album Fly By Night (1975, 8:39).

.com, .org, what’s the difference?

Last night during the VP debates, I noted that Dick Cheney mentioned factcheck.com when responding to some of Edwards’ claims about Haliburton. I didn’t actually check out the site immediately post-debate, so I’m just now picking up on this funny little tidbit:

Cheney most likely meant to direct people to factcheck.org, from the University of Pennsylvania’s Annenberg Public Policy Center.

He actually directed people to factcheck.com — which redirects to George Soros‘ website, where visitors are immediately greeted with a banner message proclaiming “Why we must not re-elect President Bush: A personal message from George Soros”, and a headline a little further down the page that says “President Bush is endagering our safety, hurting our vital interests, and undermining American values.”

[Update:]{.underline}

Here’s what FactCheck.org has to say about the flub:

Cheney got our domain name wrong — calling us “FactCheck.com” — and wrongly implied that we had rebutted allegations Edwards was making about what Cheney had done as chief executive officer of Halliburton.

In fact, we did post an article pointing out that Cheney hasn’t profited personally while in office from Halliburton’s Iraq contracts, as falsely implied by a Kerry TV ad. But Edwards was talking about Cheney’s responsibility for earlier Halliburton troubles. And in fact, Edwards was mostly right.

Go, Cheney, go! If only all Republicans could be this helpful.

Dr. Hanscom’s Health Clinic

Very interesting report from some researchers in the UK claiming that massaging breasts helps avoid breast cancer.

A gentle rub boosts the flow of vital toxins, compensating for the restricting effect of bras.

The New York-based Natural Health and Longevity Resource Centre looked at 4,700 women.

The highest rate of breast cancer was in those who wore bras all day and night. The lowest was in those who never wore bras.

Researchers say women should wear their bra for less than 12 hours a day.

Gentle kneading, rubbing and squeezing with the hands increases blood flow to the breasts, says top therapist Beverly Smith.

I figure it’s the least I can do to offer my services!

Just e-mail me to set up an appointment. ;)

(And on a not-unrelated side note, this year’s Boobiethon is in progress, with all proceeds being donated to support breast cancer research. A good cause, and fun to look at, too — how can you go wrong?)

iTunesFix” by Sisters of Mercy, The from the album Some Girls Wander By Mistake (1983, 3:43).

I so need this toy!

Plush Facehugger

I came so close to blowing some money just a few minutes ago — if this wasn’t rent week, I probably would have.

There’s a plush Alien Facehugger available now (I saw it at Suncoast).

Plush.

Facehugger.

It even has wires run through the fingers and tail to make it posable (huggable?). Cuddle up to it, or wrap it around your skull.

Creepy. Eerie. Deadly. Cute. Cuddly.

I want!

Update: Hey, mom, dad — babies like plush animals, right? Think this would make a good first Christmas present for Noah? ;)

iTunesMantrap: The Seduction” by Beborn Beton from the album Tales From Another World (1996, 5:00).