Quotes

A collection of quotes that I’ve found interesting at one point or another over the years.

English

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English is the preacher’s language, because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.

— Garrison Keillor

Boy, ain’t that the truth. I know I talk like that. Sometimes I blog like that, too, though I try not to do it on too much of a regular basis. ;)

I found that quote through Doc Searls.

Convert Kmph to Mph

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Note for Americans, that the speed is kilometers per hour not miles. To convert you multiple by 5 and divide by 8 then add 32 less the number you first thought of and then cross out the answer and write “really fast for an old car” or something like that.

— Jon Wright, in Blog Roundup

Game on!

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Next some other idiot is going to try to play Quidditch with a Dirt Devil, two bowling balls, a basketball, and a badminton birdie. Sha!

— Kirsten

I’m in! Who else?

A dozen URL's

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Can you name more than a dozen URLs by heart?

Let’s see —

  1. Unusual Relaxation Locations (any shady building on Spenard)
  2. Uriel Remebers Lilith (now that’s an obscure reference…)
  3. Unborn Rhesus Livers (eeew…I got ill dissecting a tapeworm)
  4. Unfortunately, Rhett Limps (and drops Scarlett down the staircase)
  5. Urban Relocation Lands (we ran out of reservation space)
  6. Unlikely Rambo Lines (“Don’t you guys ever read Tolstoy?”)
  7. Utah’s Radical Luddites (electricity…what a concept!)
  8. Untie Ricky, Lucy! (the scenes Desi wouldn’t let get out)
  9. Ukranian Reuseable Leeches (very popular in the Dark Ages)
  10. Uncomfortable Rubber Lederhosen (trust me)
  11. Uncle Ralph’s Laundry (needs to be done more often)
  12. Uniquely Rotund Lemmings (fool things just rolled right off that cliff)

— Me, replying to a question on Anchorage BBS AKMac

The hat?!?

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No one wants to put words in J. K. Rowling’s mouth, but it’s safe to assume that when she hails her readers’ creativity, she has in mind something other than tales wherein Professor Snape is fellated by the Sorting Hat.

— from Taking Liberties with Harry Potter, an article on the explosion of Potter fanfic

(via Jason Kottke)

Angels or Devils

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You ever read Eckhart? Eckhart saw it all too. You know what he said? He said the only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won’t let go of your life. Your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they’re not punishing you, he said. They’re freeing your soul. So…if you’re frightened of dying, and you’re holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. But, if you’ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. It’s just a matter of how you look at it, that’s all.

— Louis, in Jacob’s Ladder

Manuals?

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Manuals? Have you actually purchased a Microsoft product in the last ten years? You don’t get any manuals. You get a “quick start” booklet and a cyanide capsule and that’s it.

— RatBastard, on /.

Glad I'm not a Republican

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This was a comment posted on Free Republic’s snarky announcement of the MoveOn primary results:

You have to realize that this was an INTERNET poll and therefore those who participated in it had to be able to read. So if you take away the illiterate vote, which comprises about 50% of the democratic base, you get these skewed results.

— P-Marlowe, on Free Republic.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

(indirectly via ‘Angry White Democrat’ in the comments to Daily Kos’ take on the results)

Peace

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“Aydan,” spoke Niagat, “I would serve Heraak; I would see an end to war; I would be one of your warmasters.”

“Would you kill to achieve this, Nigat?”

“I would kill.”

“Would you kill Heraak to achieve this?”

“Kill Heraak, my master?” Niagat paused and considered the question. “If I cannot have both, I would see Heraak dead to see an end to war.”

“That is not what I asked.”

“And, Aydan, I would do the killing.”

“And now, would you die to achieve this?”

“I would risk death as does any warrior.”

“Again, Niagat, that is not my question. If an end to war can only be purchased at the certain cost of your own life, would you die by your own hand to achieve peace?”

Niagat studied upon the thing that Aydan asked. “I am willing to take the gamble of battle. In this gamble there is the chance of seeing my goal. But my certain death, and by my own hand, there would be no chance of seeing my goal. No. I would not take my own life for this. That would be foolish. Have I passed your test?”

“You have failed, Niagat. Your goal is not peace; your goal is to live in peace. Return when your goal is peace alone and you hold a willing knife at your own throat to achieve it. That is the price of a warmaster’s blade.”

— The Enemy Papers, by Barry Longyear