Michael Hanscom

Enthusiastic ambivert. Geeky, liberal, friendly, curious, hopepunk; trying to be a good person. (he/him)

Why ‘UPS’ is pronounced ‘Oops!’

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I am so not happy with UPS right now. Not that I’ve ever been a big fan of theirs — historically, I’ve always had more trouble receiving packages shipped through them than getting packages shipped through FedEx — but it just keeps getting worse.

I pre-ordered my copy of Tiger a few weeks ago through Amazon, and chose their el-cheapo free shipping rate. A little slower, but it saves me a few bucks. The downside, though, is that it meant the box was shipped via UPS instead of the normal postal service (I’ve never quite figured out when Amazon decides to ship via the postal service and when they go with UPS, I’ve gotten packages both ways and haven’t seen the pattern yet).

Because I didn’t know that UPS was going to be involved, the shipping address was my apartment. While this works fine for postal packages, UPS invariably tries to deliver to my residence during work hours. It’s just a given. So, when I got the notice from Amazon that the box was on its way via UPS, I figured that I probably wouldn’t be home for the first delivery attempt…wasn’t thrilled, but that’s just the way it goes.

The day the box was supposed to arrive, I arranged with the building’s resident manager to sign for the package, and left a note on the door of the building authorizing UPS to leave the box with the manager. Of course, that didn’t work. I got home to find a UPS Infonotice waiting for me — apparently they need my signature. A little frustrating, but it was worth a shot.

So I call UPS to have the box re-routed to my work address so that it would be delivered today. While on the phone, the customer service rep I talked to was puzzled that my note was ignored, assuring me that that should have been enough. Apparently the driver disagreed, though, so whatever, and at 5:33pm we get things set up to have the box delivered to me at work today.

This morning, I checked in on the tracking notice on UPS’s site, and saw the following:

May 6, 2005 5:33 P.M.: A DELIVERY CHANGE REQUEST FOR THIS PACKAGE WILL BE PROCESSED;THE RECEIVER REQUESTED THE PACKAGE BE DELIVERED TO AN ALTERNATE ADDRESS
May 6, 2005 9:10 P.M.: AS REQUESTED BY THE CUSTOMER, THE RECEIVER WILL PICKUP AT A UPS FACILITY WITHIN 5 BUSINESS DAYS;AS REQUESTED, THE RECEIVER WILL PICKUP AT A UPS FACILITY AT THEIR CONVENIENCE. THIS MUST BE WITHIN 5 BUSINESS DAYS

Um…no, I don’t think so. My only call to UPS was at about 5:30 that afternoon as noted in the log. I don’t know who or where this 9:10pm call was from, but it wasn’t me. So, I call UPS and talk to one of their customer service reps, a very cheery-sounding woman who assures me that no, that’s incorrect, and my package is on the truck and set to be delivered to me at work. “You’re sure?” I ask, as that’s not what the website says, and yes, she’s sure. Okay, must be a glitch somewhere.

On lunch, I decide to see what the site says. It hasn’t changed, so I call UPS’s Infonotice phone system, where I hear a recorded message telling me that the package is sitting at the UPS facility waiting for me to pick it up. Not good — the reason I don’t want to go that route is the facility is somewhere over in the Beacon Hill/South Seattle area, which I can’t get to easily — and besides, that’s not what I asked for, and had been told this morning that this wasn’t going to happen.

I hit ‘0’ a few times until I finally get shunted over to a customer service rep. They, of course, can do absolutely nothing for me except re-route the package again to my work address, to be delivered tomorrow (apparently there’s absolutely no possible way to get the package to my workplace today). There’s nothing in the system that tells them anything about the 9:10pm call — they don’t even mark which customer service person made the change, as the system is set up so that people can call in from their cell phones, and there may not have been a customer service rep. I, of course, didn’t think to get the full name of the lady I talked to this morning (who apparently told me what I wanted to hear, and not what was actually going on), so there’s no way to figure out what went wrong there.

All in all, an incredibly frustrating experience. A mysterious 9:10pm call on Friday to hold the package for pickup that I didn’t make, and some twit this morning who didn’t tell me what was actually happening.

I’d originally planned to have the weekend to upgrade, doing a full drive wipe and install from scratch and then reinstalling all my apps for as clean a system as possible. With the first delay, I was now planning on upgrading tonight after work. Now, I’m pushed back again until tomorrow. Grrrr.

As the title says…there’s a reason UPS is pronounced ‘Oops!’

iTunes “Peace, Love and Grease (Hot Tracks)” by BT from the album Roadkill 2.19 (1997, 6:48).

Clutter

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Okay, granted, I’m not the world’s greatest housekeeper. I come from a proud packrat heritage, in a family household where no flat surface will remain unused for more than a few hours.

But…nothing I or my family has ever managed to come up with even comes close to comparing to this house. Amazing…and a little disturbing.

QuickTime 7 HD

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Oh. My. God.

I installed QuickTime 7 the other day, and found Apple’s HD Gallery page where they’re showcasing a few HD trailers and video clips. The trailer for Serenity is available in both 720p and 1080p formats, and even though my system (a dual 2.0Ghz G5 with a 64Mb Radeon 9600 video card) technically doesn’t meet the requirements to playback 1080p, I downloaded both to see how they behaved.

Beautiful. Not a stutter on either one, and the video quality is amazing. What amused me, though, is that my screen (which I run at a slightly non-standard 1152×870) isn’t big enough to display them at full size! The 720p trailer just loses a little bit off of either side, but the 1080p trailer? I can only fit about half of it on my screen at once. Wow.

Quicktime 7 rocks!Just for grins and giggles, I decided to download all the different Serenity trailers available to compare them. I grabbed all four “normal” versions from the Serenity trailer page (small, medium, large, and full screen), the two HD versions from the Serenity HD page, opened them all up at once, and paused each one at 1:02.

(While I was doing this, I started them all playing at once just to see what would happen. Even with all the other versions playing at the same time, the gargantuan 1080i trailer still kept up a very watchable 18fps average framerate!)

Here’s the end result:

version size (MB) fps size (pixels) data rate (kbits/sec)
small 4.8 8 240×104 288.78
medium 8.45 12 320×136 505.18
large 20.98 24 480×208 1259.23
fullscreen 40.4 24 640×272 2363.67
720p 108.33 24 1280×544 6406.26
1080p 138.36 24 1920×816 8182.54

Pretty damn impressive.

iTunes “Tell Me Why” by :Wumpscut: from the album Bunker Gate Seven (1995, 4:11).

Jonesing for Tiger

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My copy of Tiger was supposed to show up today, and I was going to have the whole weekend to Nuke and Pave and play with my new toy.

UPS, in their infinite wisdom, tried to deliver my package at 2:30 in the afternoon, while I’m at work.

I don’t get Tiger until Monday (when it’s being delivered to me at work so this doesn’t happen again)! :(

Anybody in Seattle feel like letting me borrow their Tiger install disc until Monday when mine gets here? ;)

iTunes “Here I Am (Come and Take Me)” by Green, Al from the album The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (2005, 4:13).

You won’t succeed on Broadway if you don’t have any Jews!

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SpamalotI spent most of the first part of my morning in tears today — because I couldn’t stop laughing. Last night I noticed that the iTunes Music Store had the Broadway cast soundtrack to Spamalot. Of course, that was a no-brainer impulse buy.

So far I’ve only listened to it once straight through, and that was while working, so I didn’t catch quite everything, but it’s hilarious.

The show, of course, is “(lovingly) ripped off from the motion picture Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” and much of the best-loved elements from the movie are in the show, along with a few other bits and pieces from the Python canon (including ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life‘, and even the fish slapping dance).

Some of the best parts that I’ve found so far, though, are lampooning Broadway itself, with two obvious standout tracks.

The first is ‘You Won’t Succeed on Broadway‘, which points out that there’s no way for any show to be a hit unless there’s a Jew in the story. It all starts (as I’ve found thanks to a few reviews) after Arthur and his knights are given a task by the mighty Knights of Ni: they must open a hit Broadway show.

Arthur: Have you heard of this…’Broadway?’

Robin: Yes sir, but we don’t stand a chance there.

Arthur: Why not?

Robin: Because! Broadway is a very special place, filled with very special people. People who can sing, and dance — often at the same time! They are a different people, a multitalented people, a people who need people, and who are in many ways the luckiest people in the world. I’m sorry sire. We don’t have a chance.

Arthur: But why?

Robin: Well…let me put it like this…

In any great adventure
if you don’t want to lose,
Victory depends upon
the people that you choose.
So listen Arthur, darling,
closely to this news —
We won’t succeed on Broadway
if we don’t have any Jews!

The second, and so far my favorite piece from the soundtrack, is ‘The Song that Goes Like This,’ a deliciously perfect sendup of the über-schmaltzy headlining track in far too many modern Broadway shows, most notoriously those of Andrew Lloyd Webber (apparently, this song is sung in a boat surrounded by candles as a chandelier descends from the ceiling…sound familiar to anyone?).

Lancelot: Once in every show,
there comes a song like this,
it starts off nice and slow,
and ends up with a kiss.
Oh, well. Here’s the song
that goes like this.
Where is it? Where? Where?

Lady of the Lake: A sentimental song,
it casts a magic spell,
They only hum along,
we’ll overact like hell.
Oh this! Is the song
that goes like this.

Both: Yes it is. / Yes it is! / Yes it is! / Oh yes it is!

Lancelot: Now we can go straight
into the middle eight,
a bridge
that is too far for me.

Lady of the Lake: I’ll sing it in your face,
while we both embrace.

Both: And then!
We change the key!

And it just goes on…it’s wonderful.

Pick it up from the iTMS, or if you’re partial to physical media, from Amazon. It’s well worth adding to your collection.

iTunes “Diva’s Lament (What Ever Happened to My Part?)” by Ramirez, Sara from the album Spamalot (Original Broadway Cast) (2005, 2:32).

Microsoft reconsiders, supports anti-discrimination laws

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Via Scoble, Ballmer’s e-mail announcing Microsoft’s re-committing to support anti-discrimination legislation covering sexual orientation.

After looking at the question from all sides, I’ve concluded that diversity in the workplace is such an important issue for our business that it should be included in our legislative agenda. Since our beginning nearly 30 years ago, Microsoft has had a strong business interest in recruiting and retaining the best and brightest and most diverse workforce possible. I’m proud of Microsoft’s commitment to non-discrimination in our internal policies and benefits, but our policies can’t cover the range of housing, education, financial and similar services that our people and their partners and families need. Therefore, it’s appropriate for the company to support legislation that will promote and protect diversity in the workplace.

Accordingly, Microsoft will continue to join other leading companies in supporting federal legislation that would prohibit employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation – adding sexual orientation to the existing law that already covers race, sex, national origin, religion, age and disability. Given the importance of diversity to our business, it is appropriate for the company to endorse legislation that prohibits employment discrimination on all of these grounds. Obviously, the Washington State legislative session has concluded for this year, but if legislation similar to HB 1515 is introduced in future sessions, we will support it.

Good to see.

Update: Here’s the Seattle Times’ story.