Books

I read…a lot. Here’s where I ramble about books and printed media.

Ilium

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Oooohhh — a new book by Dan Simmons! Being a big fan of his Hyperion series (Hyperion, The Fall of Hyperion, Endymion, and The Rise of Endymion), this is very good news in my universe.

On Earth, a post-technological group of humans, pampered by servant machines and easy travel via “faxing,” begins to question its beginnings. Meanwhile, a team of sentient and Shakespeare-quoting robots from Jupiter’s lunar system embark on a mission to Mars to investigate an increase in dangerous quantum fluctuations. On the Red Planet, they’ll find a race of metahumans living out existence as the pantheon of classic Greek gods. These “gods” have recreated the Trojan War with reconstituted Greeks and Trojans and staffed it with scholars from throughout Earth’s history who observe the events and report on the accuracy of Homer’s Iliad. One of these scholars, Thomas Hockenberry, finds himself tangled in the midst of interplay between the gods and their playthings and sends the war reeling in a direction the blind poet could have never imagined.

Simmons creates an exciting and thrilling tale set in the thick of the Trojan War as seen through Hockenberry’s 20th-century eyes. At the same time, Simmons’s robots study Shakespeare and Proust and the origin-seeking Earthlings find themselves caught in a murderous retelling of The Tempest. Reading this highly literate novel does take more than a passing familiarity with at least The Iliad but readers who can dive into these heady waters and swim with the current will be amply rewarded.

(via John Ludwig)

iTunes: “Feurio! (Remix)” by Einstürzende Neubauten from the album Industrial Revolution, 2nd Edition (1989, 4:49).

Lord of the Rings dating tips

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Epic fantasy as a dating manual?

  • When you’re trying to catch the cute guy’s eye is the exact moment the dwarf will pick to approach you;
  • Eating raw fish is no longer a sign of a sophisticated date. (That said, you have to admit the Atkins plan is working for Gollum.)
  • If you’re the only girl among 100 guys you’ll still fall for the only one who has a girlfriend;
  • When overused, terms of endearment such as “precious” lose their meaning;
  • All couples fight, but battles shouldn’t last so long that one of you has to get up and stretch your legs or use the bathroom;
  • It doesn’t matter if you look like Liv Tyler; your pining and whining will still get on people’s nerves;
  • Don’t blame your friends just because they can see right through your creepy little partner;
  • If you can get along on a road trip, the relationship will probably last;
  • There will come a point when it seems like the relationship should be over. Don’t drag it out. Just end it there.

And finally, the mother of all dating wisdom:

  • Some people will go to any lengths to get a ring; others, having had one for awhile, will go to any lengths to chuck it into a volcano.

(via Rachel)

iTunes: “Moron” by K.M.F.D.M. from the album WWIII (2003, 5:05).

Most-blogged books of 2003

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Another list post, this time, All Consuming‘s list of the most-blogged books of 2003. As before, books in bold and prefaced with » I’ve read.

  1. » Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Book 5) by J. K. Rowling
  2. Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right by Al Franken
  3. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
  4. » Quicksilver (The Baroque Cycle, Vol. 1) by Neal Stephenson
  5. Pattern Recognition by William Gibson
  6. Designing With Web Standards by Jeffrey Zeldman
  7. Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All-American Meal by Eric Schlosser
  8. Smart Mobs: The Next Social Revolution by Howard Rheingold
  9. Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom by Cory Doctorow
  10. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
  11. Stupid White Men …and Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation! by Michael Moore
  12. Dude, Where’s My Country? by Michael Moore
  13. » Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
  14. » Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson
  15. » 1984 by George Orwell
  16. Treason : Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism by Ann Coulter
  17. Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game by Michael Lewis
  18. Google Hacks: 100 Industrial-Strength Tips & Tools by Tara Calishain, Rael Dornfest
  19. Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton
  20. The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell
  21. » Neuromancer by William Gibson
  22. Why Girls Are Weird: A Novel by Pamela Ribon
  23. Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America by Barbara Ehrenreich
  24. Linked: The New Science of Networks by Albert-Lászó Barabási
  25. » American Gods by Neil Gaiman
  26. The Lovely Bones: A Novel by Alice Sebold
  27. Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies by Jared Diamond
  28. Emergence: The Connected Lives of Ants, Brains, Cities, and Software by Steven Johnson
  29. The Weblog Handbook: Practical Advice on Creating and Maintaining Your Blog by Rebecca Blood
  30. What Liberal Media? The Truth About Bias and the News by Eric Alterman
  31. Blogging: Genius Strategies for Instant Web Content by Biz Stone
  32. A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson
  33. The Great Unraveling: Losing Our Way in the New Century by Paul Krugman
  34. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon
  35. Big Lies: The Right-Wing Propaganda Machine and How It Distorts the Truth by Joe Conason
  36. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers
  37. Small Pieces Loosely Joined: A Unified Theory of the Web by David Weinberger
  38. » The Diamond Age: Or, a Young Lady’s Illustrated Primer by Neal Stephenson
  39. » Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Book 5) by J.K. Rowling
  40. » Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
  41. » Good Omens by Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett
  42. » Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
  43. » Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid by Douglas R. Hofstadter
  44. » Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
  45. Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
  46. » Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
  47. The Complete Far Side by Gary Larson, Steve Martin
  48. Microserfs by Douglas Coupland
  49. The Language Police: How Pressure Groups Restrict What Students Learn by Diane Ravitch
  50. What Should I Do with My Life? by Po Bronson
  51. Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner
  52. » Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
  53. Reefer Madness: Sex, Drugs, and Cheap Labor in the American Black Market by Eric Schlosser
  54. We Blog: Publishing Online with Weblogs by Paul Bausch, Matthew Haughey, Meg Hourihan
  55. The Best Democracy Money Can Buy: The Truth About Corporate Cons, Globalization and High-Finance Fraudsters by Greg Palast
  56. The Corrections: A Novel by Jonathan Franzen
  57. Bushwhacked: Life in George W. Bush’s America by Molly Ivins, Lou Dubose
  58. Choke by Chuck Palahniuk
  59. We’ve Got Blog: How Weblogs Are Changing Our Culture by Editors of Perseus Publishing, Rebecca Blood
  60. Beyond Fear: Thinking Sensibly About Security in an Uncertain World by Bruce Schneier
  61. » Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk
  62. The Clinton Wars by Sidney Blumenthal
  63. Six Degrees: The Science of a Connected Age by Duncan J. Watts
  64. » Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  65. » Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
  66. Jennifer Government: A Novel by Max Barry
  67. » Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Book 4) by J. K. Rowling
  68. Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
  69. The Cluetrain Manifesto: The End of Business as Usual by Christopher Locke, Rick Levine, Doc Searls, David Weinberger
  70. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
  71. Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
  72. The Handmaid’s Tale: A Novel by Margaret Atwood
  73. » Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire
  74. Design Patterns by Erich Gamma, Richard Helm, Ralph Johnson, John Vlissides
  75. » Dune by Frank Herbert
  76. Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith by Jon Krakauer
  77. The Threatening Storm: The Case for Invading Iraq by Kenneth M. Pollack
  78. Eric Meyer on CSS: Mastering the Language of Web Design by Eric A. Meyer
  79. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
  80. The Hours: A Novel by Michael Cunningham
  81. Diary: A Novel by Chuck Palahniuk
  82. Wolves of the Calla (The Dark Tower, Book 5) by Stephen King, Bernie Wrightson
  83. The Devil Wears Prada: A Novel by Lauren Weisberger
  84. Essential Blogging by Shelley Powers, Cory Doctorow, J. Scott Johnson, Mena G. Trott, Benjamin Trott, Rael Dornfest
  85. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
  86. How to Be Good by Nick Hornby
  87. Prey: A Novel by Michael Crichton
  88. Memoirs of a Geisha: A Novel by Arthur Golden
  89. The Design of Everyday Things by Donald A. Norman
  90. The Skeptical Environmentalist: Measuring the Real State of the World by Bjorn Lomborg
  91. Seabiscuit: An American Legend by Laura Hillenbrand
  92. » The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
  93. Hey Nostradamus! A Novel by Douglas Coupland
  94. Don’t Make Me Think: A Common Sense Approach to Web Usability by Steve Krug
  95. On the Road by Jack Kerouac
  96. Naked by David Sedaris
  97. Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot by Al Franken
  98. The Substance of Style: How the Rise of Aesthetic Value Is Remaking Commerce, Culture, and Consciousness by Virginia Postrel
  99. Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
  100. The Future of Freedom: Illiberal Democracy at Home and Abroad by Fareed Zakaria

There’s a few books here listed twice (The Life of Pi, Harry Potter) — I think that’s just a side effect of Amazon carrying both paperback and hardcover versions of the book, so both were linked to enough to show up on the list at different spots.

Search inside!

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Search Inside Lolita?

Wow — I entirely missed Zeldman’s original post about this, but Kirsten just pointed out a hilarious little side effect of Amazon’s addition of “Search Inside!” or “Look Inside!” text to book cover images featuring their full text search feature.

As if the term ‘Lolita’ didn’t attract enough pervs already, now we have little things like this to feed the obsession.

More amusing instances of this can be found on Kirsten’s post, or at Another Pointless Dotcom.

iTunes: “Fun With Drugs” by Velvet Acid Christ from the album Fun With Knives (1999, 5:25).

The Death of a Foy

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It was extremely unusual for a Foy to be dying on earth. They were the highest social class on their planet (which had a name that was pronounced — as nearly as earthly throats could make the sounds — Sortibackenstrete) and were virtually immortal.

Every Foy, of course, came to a voluntary death eventually, and this one had given up because of an ill-starred love affair, if you can call it a love affair where five individuals, in order to reproduce, must indulge in a yearlong mental contact. Apparently, the Foy had not fit into the contact after several months of trying, and it had broken his heart — or hearts, for he had five.

All Foys had five large hearts and there was speculation that it was this that made them virtually immortal.

Maude Briscoe, earth’s most renowned surgeon, wanted those hearts. “It can’t be just their number and size, Ray,” she said to her chief assistant. “It has to be something physiological or biochemical. I must have them.”

“I don’t know if we can manage that,” said Ray Johnson. “I’ve been speaking to him earnestly, trying to overcome the Foy taboo against dismemberment after death. I’ve had to lie to him, Maude.”

“Lie?”

“I told him that after death, there would be a dirge sung for him by the world-famous choir led by Harold J. Gassenbaum. I told him that, by earthly belief, this would mean that his astral essence would be instantaneously wafted back, through hyperspace, to his home planet of Sortib-what’s-it’s-name — provided he would sign a release allowing you, Maude, to have his hearts for scientific investigation.”

“Don’t tell me he believed that.”

“Well, you know this modern attitude about accepting the myths and beliefs of intelligent aliens. It wouldn’t have been polite for him not to believe me. Besides, the Foys have a profound admiration for earthly science and I think this one is a little flattered that we should want his hearts. He promised to consider the suggestion and I hope he decides soon because he can’t live more than another, day or so, and we must have his permission by interstellar law, and the hearts must be fresh — Ah, his signal.”

Ray Johnson moved in with smooth and noiseless speed. “Yes?” he whispered, unobtrusively turning on the holographic recording device in case the Foy wished to grant permission.

The Foy’s large, gnarled, rather tree like body lay motionless on the bed. His bulging eyes palpitated — all five of them — as they rose, each on its stalk, and turned toward Ray. The Foy’s voice had a strange tone and the lipless edges of his open round mouth did not move, but the words formed perfectly. His eyes were making the Foyan gestures of assent as he said, “Give my big hearts to Maude, Ray. Dismember me for Harold’s choir. Tell all the Foys on Sortibackenstretethat I will soon be there.”

Isaac Asimov has long been one of my favorite writers. In addition to writing incredibly good science fiction, he could also craft nonfiction scientific essays that were just as interesting to read, a rare gift in any writer. And, of course, he had an absolutely wicked sense of humor and a great love for bad puns.

I just had to share after finding this one. :)

(via MetaFilter)

Cheaper By the Dozen

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I absolutely, uncategorically, and unquestionably refuse to go see the Cheaper By the Dozen movie currently playing in the theaters.

The original book by Frank Gilbreth and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey was one of my favorite books growing up. It’s the true story of the Gilbreths, a turn of the century family unlike any other. Father was an efficiency expert, hired by companies to examine their work processes and find ways to speed up production — and he ran his life and his household by the same standards as his business. His wife shared in his duties, giving lectures on efficiency techniques (no small feat for a woman in 1917), and continued her husband’s work and business after he died. Then, there were their children — all twelve of them.

At first, when I saw that there was going to be a new movie made from the book, I was interested. Then, I found out that it starred Steve Martin, and I began to worry. Then I saw the previews, and my fears were confirmed — in the name of “modernization”, the story I loved as a kid has been gutted to the point where apparently the only connection to the original source material is the number of children. Such a shame.

I was ranting about this to Prairie after seeing the preview a while back, and while she could sympathize with my frustration, she couldn’t empathize, never having read the book. So, one of her Christmas presents from me this year was her own copy of Cheaper By the Dozen. She’s been reading it off and on all evening as I’ve been dinking around on the computer, and I’m constantly hearing her start to giggle (or out and out laugh) at one passage or another. I love it when something I loved so much when I was younger gives someone else the giggles as they read it for the first time.