Epic fantasy as a dating manual?
- When you’re trying to catch the cute guy’s eye is the exact moment the dwarf will pick to approach you;
- Eating raw fish is no longer a sign of a sophisticated date. (That said, you have to admit the Atkins plan is working for Gollum.)
- If you’re the only girl among 100 guys you’ll still fall for the only one who has a girlfriend;
- When overused, terms of endearment such as “precious” lose their meaning;
- All couples fight, but battles shouldn’t last so long that one of you has to get up and stretch your legs or use the bathroom;
- It doesn’t matter if you look like Liv Tyler; your pining and whining will still get on people’s nerves;
- Don’t blame your friends just because they can see right through your creepy little partner;
- If you can get along on a road trip, the relationship will probably last;
- There will come a point when it seems like the relationship should be over. Don’t drag it out. Just end it there.
And finally, the mother of all dating wisdom:
- Some people will go to any lengths to get a ring; others, having had one for awhile, will go to any lengths to chuck it into a volcano.
(via Rachel)
iTunes: “Moron” by K.M.F.D.M. from the album WWIII (2003, 5:05).
