Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair,
and one could tell by how he walked that he’d drunk more than his share.
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet,
then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Ring ding diddle diddle eye dee oh, ring di diddly eye oh,
he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by,
and one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye,
“See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built?
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath their kilt!”
Ring ding diddle diddle eye dee oh, ring di diddly eye oh,
“I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt!”
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be.
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt,
was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
Ring ding diddle diddle eye dee oh, ring di diddly eye oh,
was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
They marveled for a moment, then one said, “We must be gone,
let’s leave a present for our friend, before we move along.”
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow,
around the bonnie star the Scots’ kilt did lift and show.
Ring ding diddle diddle eye dee oh, ring di diddly eye oh,
around the bonnie star the Scots kilt did lift and show.
Now the Scotsman woke to nature’s call and stumbled towards a tree.
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees!
And in a startled voice he says to what’s before his eyes,
“O, lad I don’t know where you been, but I see you won first prize!”
Ring ding diddle diddle eye dee oh, ring di diddly eye oh,
“O, lad I don’t know where you been, but I see you won first prize!”
— Bryan Bowers “The Scotsman”
