Humor

Things that make me laugh, or that I think will make others laugh.

Cydonia redux

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The European Space Agency‘s Mars Express orbiter has obtained new, high resolution images of the ever-popular Cydonian ‘face’ on Mars, putting to rest (again) the myth that there’s actually a constructed face on the surface of the red planet.

Cydonian Face in perspective

A perspective view showing the so-called ‘Face on Mars’ located in the Cydonia region. The image shows a remnant massif thought to have formed via landslides and an early form of debris apron formation. The massif is characterized by a western wall that has moved downslope as a coherent mass. The massif became famous as the ‘Face on Mars’ in a photo taken on 25 July 1976 by the American Viking 1 Orbiter.

Image recorded during orbits 3253 and 1216 by the High Resolution Stereo Camera (HRSC) on board ESA’s Mars Express. Image is based on data gathered over the Cydonia region, with a ground resolution of approximately 13.7 metres per pixel. Cydonia lies at approximately 40.75° North and 350.54° East.

Credits: ESA/DLR/FU Berlin (G. Neukum), MOC (Malin Space Science Systems)

This seems like as good a time as any to revisit one of my favorite silly posts from the past: Mars Needs a Facelift!

NASA has recently released photographs of the famous Cydonian face on Mars that show that one of the strongest pieces of evidence we have yet of alien intelligence is in danger of being eradicated from our Solar System.

[…]

The only question now is how is this happening? […] The only answer I can come up with is that the Face is being deliberately destroyed to hide its existence from us! This single image — released by NASA itself — does more to prove that the Government has been hiding information from us (either about its own capabilities, or about its involvement with extraterrestrial intelligence) for years than anything previously found!

Heh.

(via /.)

International Vote Like an American Pirate Day

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Today marks the unholy combination of three things:

If I didn’t have to go to work this afternoon, I’d so be spending the day down at the Seattle Center, wandering around, taking pictures, and hoping for the three events to collide in some spectacularly silly fashion.

iTunes “Malibu (Jason Nevins)” by Hole from the album Promo Mainstream Club 5-99 (1999, 6:43).

Hot Tunes

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Goofy idea that I don’t have the programming chops to create:

A plugin for iTunes (originally I was thinking of a separate program, but I think that this could probably all be done through Applescript) that, when activated, polls the weather services on the ‘net for the current temperature and then randomly selects a song from the year that matches the current temperature. A sunny summer day of 85° would produce synthpop from 1985, a cool fall afternoon of 63° would play the rock and roll of 1963.

Options that should be included:

  • Some form of fahrenheit/celsius recognition.
    • Switch between the two systems (85°F/1985 is 29°C/1929).
    • Converting between the two (85°F plays 1929, 29°C plays 1985).
  • Choosing songs from the decade, rather than the year (85° plays songs from 1980-1989, 72° plays from ’70-’79).
  • Applying some alteration (plus or minus X, other transformations) to affect the temperature to year conversion (otherwise, most places would get a lot of songs from the 70’s through the summertime, and many people don’t have a huge collection of 20’s and 30’s tunes to listen to during the winter months).

It’s the kind of silly little one-trick pony that could only be released as freeware, and likely wouldn’t get a ton of usage. It amused me when the idea crossed my mind, however.

(Incidentally, the song I’m listening to at the moment — which will be noted at the bottom of this post — was released in 1979, because according to my ‘puter, it’s 79°F outside. At 11:20pm. Ick. Yes, I’m whining. Yes, Colorado, Arizona, and many other places are hotter than it is here in Seattle. I’m still whining. Candles shouldn’t melt when they’re not lit.)

iTunes “I Hope That Somethin’ Better Comes Along” by Kermit the Frog/Rolf the Dog from the album Muppet Movie, The (1979, 3:58).

300 Multiple Choices

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The idea for using server response codes as SMS shorthand that’s going around right now is cute…

403 = Forbidden
The request was denied for a reason the server does not want to (or has no means to) indicate to the client.

[FRIEND] i herd the show was sold out. did u get in?
[YOU] 403

or

[FRIEND] how’d it go last night with that new girl???
[YOU] 403

…but I still prefer an idea I linked to all the way back in January of ’04, when I ran across the idea of applying server response codes to dating.

300 Multiple Choices for the creative.
301 Moved Permanently for the formerly-masculine.
[…]
401 Unauthorized for the stranger.
402 Payment Required for … yeah.
404 Not Found for the unfortunate.
405 Method Not Allowed — I’m not going there.

iTunes “To the New Light” by Laibach from the album Jesus Christ Superstars (1997, 5:00).

Woozles Sound Chewy

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“Ooohhh…too. Much. Pizza,” Prairie mock-whined as she cuddled up next to me in bed.

“Oh?”

“I’m stuffed. Big lump of pizza in my tummy.”

“Ah. Yes.” I nodded. “Pizzalump. Kind of like a Heffalump, only more edible.”

Prairie giggled. “Heffalumps aren’t edible?”

“Nope.”

“Who says?”

“The Heffalumps, of course!”

“Of course!”

“Woozles might not agree, but then, you can’t take a Woozle’s word for it, now can you?”

By this point, we both had a serious case of the giggles, and conversation stopped for a few moments. Then Prairie mumbled something.

“What?”

“Woozles sound chewy.”

“Chewy?” I started laughing again.

“Well, they do. Say it: ‘_Wooooo_zles…'” And then she was giggling too hard to go on.

“I should make that the tagline for my site,” I laughed. “‘Woozles Sound Chewy.'” I mimed a baffled shrug. “See how long it takes for someone to e-mail me asking what that means. Then I’ll just e-mail back, ‘Well, they do. Say it!'”

And again with the laughing too hard to talk.

So — Woozles sound chewy, and now Prairie wants a Heffalump (rather than a Pizzalump) for dinner sometime next week.

Anyone have any recipes?

iTunes “Sad Cowboy Song (Live)” by Red Elvises from the album Your Favorite Band (1999, 6:24).

On trying tapioca

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That was seriously one of the strangest things I’ve ever had in my mouth.

— Prairie, after I convinced her to try tapioca pudding.

She wasn’t impressed. Actually, she didn’t even get through more than two tiny little bites (she says they were spoonfulls, but she barely dented the top of the pudding cup).

Admittedly, it probably didn’t help that part of why she’d never had tapioca before was because her mom detests it, and would involuntarily shudder every time it was mentioned. And, my comparing it to frogs eggs, or holding up a spoon full, looking at it, and commenting that, “It’s like it’s looking at you, with lots of tiny little eyes,” likely wasn’t much in the way of constructive encouragement.

So no more tapioca for Prairie. That’s alright — it’s all the more for me (which in itself is more than a little odd, as I’m pretty picky about what I eat, and texture is an important part of why I like or dislike something, and as Prairie pointed out, from everything she’s seen me enjoy or turn my nose up at, I should be entirely squicked out by tapioca, and yet, I’m rather fond of it…we figure it’s because I’m a boy, and it’s a good “gross out food”).

iTunes “Renegade Soundwave (Leftfield)” by Renegade Soundwave from the album In to the Mix (1994, 7:51).