Humor

Things that make me laugh, or that I think will make others laugh.

Panexa (Acidachrome Promanganate)

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Since Prairie got me watching a bit more TV than I have in the past few years, I’ve been regularly entertained by commercials for drugs where 20% of the commercial is soothing platitudes, and the other 80% is warnings about possible complications and disturbing side effects.

There’s a new winner in that particular game, though — Panexa.

No matter what you do or where you go, you’re always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your lifestyle is one of the biggest factors in choosing how to live. Why trust it to anything less? Panexa is proven to provide more medication to those who take it than any other comparable solution. Panexa is the right choice, the safe choice. The only choice.

Panexa. Ask your doctor for a reason to take it.

Royce sent me a link to this site yesterday with a note saying “Man, I hurt myself laughing at some parts of this.” He’s not kidding.

He wrote some pretty creepy stuff…

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In Someone is Watching, a movie that Prairie got for me as a silly Halloween present that otherwise doesn’t rate much more than “laughably bad” (it was $1 at the local dollar store), there was this gem of a quote, about a character’s eight year old son:

He has a terrific imagination, he’s going to be the next Ray Bradbury.

Anyone who’s familiar with Ray Bradbury’s works would be able to tell you that that’s probably not really a good sign.

Playing the race card

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On our way home from Charlie’s tonight, Prairie and I got a sudden hankering for ice cream and stopped into the Baskin Robbins just down the street from our apartment. A couple of teenagers were hanging out in the store, chatting with their friends behind the counter.

Sitting at one of the tables, a skinny black kid, decked out in street-standard clothes (sneakers, baggy jeans, oversize t-shirt) said, “I don’t think I could live with you people.”

His friend, a heavyset white guy with longish wavy hair in slacks, shirt and tie laughed and answered, “White?”

“What!?” the black kid said, and all of us started laughing. “I didn’t say that!”

“You said you couldn’t live with ‘you people’…!”

“Party animals!”

The white kid laughed again. “White? Dude, you’re not supposed to be playing the race card….”

“Yo, man, no, party animals….”

“You keep talkin’, all I’m hearin’ is ‘fuck whitey!'”

By this point, all of us were cracking up. Absolutely hilarious, good-natured needling between friends.

The Vampire Club

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Since I only had one album by Voltaire (The Devil’s Bris), I decided to see if the iTMS had any available, as they’ve been doing a rather remarkable job of expanding their underground/goth/industrial/anything non-mainstream collections. It turns out they had two others in addition to The Devil’s Bris: Boo Hoo and Then And Again, both of which I snagged.

Some of the songs I’d heard already, either at the_vogue (Future Ex-Girlfriend, Caught A Light Sneeze) or at his show last year (Goodnight Demonslayer, a beautiful lullaby to his son). Others I hadn’t heard yet, including a new favorite: The Vampire Club.

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God’s Total Quality Management Questionairre

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God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions.

Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.

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The Sesame Street Theme…in Klingon

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Original:

Sunny day
Sweepin’ the clouds away
On my way
to where the air is sweet.
Can you tell me how to get,
how to get to Sesame Street?

Klingon:

pem Hov jaj.
Haw’choHnIS ‘eng ‘ej Haj.
ghoch vIghaj;
‘ej pa’ muDmo’ jIbel.
chay’ Sesame He vIghoS?
SIbI’ jIHvaD ‘e’ yIDel.

Translation of the Klingon:

A day of the daytime star.
The clouds are compelled to commence fleeing, and are filled with dread.
I have a destination;
and there, because of the atmosphere, I am pleased.
Describe to me immediately
how to go to Sesame Street.

And there’s two more verses at the original location. This is so wonderful!

(via MeFi)

Seattle’s Seasons in Software

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The news that yesterday’s rumors are true and that NewsGator has acquired NetNewsWire is flying all over the ‘net right now. NewsGator posted a quick Q&A about the acquisition, which produced this little gem from NetNewsWire’s Brent Simmons:

Q: Is Brent moving to Denver? Or Tennessee?

Greg: Yes!

Brent: No, I’ll be staying in Seattle.

Greg: Darn it, I’m 0 for 2. Denver’s not such a bad place, you know. We have 4 seasons and everything!

Brent: As a Macintosh user interface designer I like to simplify whenever possible. Four seasons is two too many. Seattle has two seasons, rainy and dry — anything more is too complex for new users. ;)

Shining

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Okay, so I’m a bit late to the party on this one, but if you haven’t seen it yet, you’ve really got to check out the trailer for a little heartwarming family comedy called Shining (9.5Mb QT .mov). A definite must-see!