The Vampire Club

Since I only had one album by Voltaire (The Devil’s Bris), I decided to see if the iTMS had any available, as they’ve been doing a rather remarkable job of expanding their underground/goth/industrial/anything non-mainstream collections. It turns out they had two others in addition to The Devil’s Bris: Boo Hoo and Then And Again, both of which I snagged.

Some of the songs I’d heard already, either at the_vogue (Future Ex-Girlfriend, Caught A Light Sneeze) or at his show last year (Goodnight Demonslayer, a beautiful lullaby to his son). Others I hadn’t heard yet, including a new favorite: The Vampire Club.

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Voltaire at the Vogue

Just a few quick impressions, because it’s way past my bedtime on a weeknight (and having to say that before it’s even 1am is so depressing…).

Excellent show.

Wandered up to the Vogue at just a tad after 9pm and headed in. Got to say hello to some of the few people I know — Ogre, Mickey, and Kayo — and then ran into Richard just a few moments later. Ended up getting a table right up by the side of the stage, with a perfect view.

The Arid Sea opened, who I knew pretty much nothing about. Not bad at all, though admittedly, not so good that I’m going to be rushing out to pick up an album. A good opening show.

Voltaire came up shortly afterwards. While on his albums he has backing musicians, his performance was simply him and an acoustic guitar. He started by walking up to the mic and saying, “Hi! I’m…Rammstein!” and then proceeded to do a tongue-in-cheek cover of “Du Haßt Mich” (“You / You love / You love this / Even though you don’t know what I’m saying.”)

The next song was “Ex-Lover’s Lover”, and then he went through a good number of songs that I didn’t know (as The Devil’s Bris is the only album I own — something that will have to change), but were all very entertaining.

He prefaced a song about being eaten by cannibals by talking about how he’d just done a show in Japan the week before, and while he was able to do his between-song chatter in Japanese, the songs themselves were in English, so the Japanese audience didn’t pick up on all of the puns in his songs. He did say that the show in Japan went really well, though, and so he’d decided to do the exact same performance, since it went over so sucessfully — and then proceeded to speak in Japanese.

Between two of the songs he took a moment to read a few short passages from a small book he’s just put out, What is Goth?, commenting that “the surest way to a girls…(long pause)…heart…is suck-ass Goth poetry.”

There was actually a lot of fun between-song banter, and since much of the music I was hearing for the first time, that’s much of what I’m remembering. He told a story about going to the PTA meeting for his six-year old’s school, a fancy private school in New York, and realizing that both Dave Gahan (the lead singer of Depeche Mode) and David Bowie also had children in the same school (“The parent choir is going to rock!”).

Also, just before a very sweet (if disturbing) lullabye “written to scare my son to death, apparently,” he told another short story about his son. Apparently he came home and heard one of his son’s friends talking to the nanny, and declaring that, “that coat smells like his dad.” At his point, Voltaire paused, hiding around the corner to find out just how bad he smelled.

“What does his dad smell like?” asked the nanny.

“Evil.” (Much laughter here from the audience.)

Then the nanny followed up on this. “And what does evil smell like?”

And then, very matter-of-factly, the friend just said, “Pretty good, actually.”

He ended up finishing his show with “When You’re Evil,” only with a slight twist to the final lyrics:

It gets so lonely being evil.
What I’d do to see a smile,
Even for a little while,
And no one loves you when you’re DJ Eternal Darkness

All in all, much fun, and well worth staying up past my bedtime for.

iTunesAnniversary” by Voltaire from the album Devil’s Bris, The (1998, 4:35).

When You're Evil

I found this song by Voltaire on a sampler from Projekt Records. It’s a good sampler, but this is easily the best of the bunch. Gypsy-ish melody, music that’s mostly violin and drumkit, and wonderful lyrics that sound to me like they’re sung with a quite mischevious glint in the eye. Gets me grinning every time I hear it.

When the Devil is too busy,
and Death’s a bit too much,
They call on me — by name you see —
for my special touch.
To the gentlemen I’m Miss Fortune,
To the ladies I’m Sir Prize,
But call me by any name,
any way it’s all the same…

I’m the fly in your soup,
I’m the pebble in your shoe,
I’m the pea beneath your bed,
I’m a bump on every head,
I’m the peel on which you slip,
I’m a pin in every hip,
I’m the thorn in your side,
Makes you wriggle and writhe —

(Chorus)
And it’s so easy when you’re evil!
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me.
I do it all because I’m evil,
And I do it all for free…
Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need.

While there’s children to make sad,
While there’s candy to be had,
While there’s pockets left to pick,
While there’s grannies left to trip down the stairs
I’ll be there, I’ll be waiting round the corner
It’s a game, i’m glad I’m in it
’cause there’s one born every minute.

(Chorus)

I pledge my allegiance to all things dark
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub
Has never seen a soldier quite like me,
Not only does his job but does it happily.

I’m the fear that keeps you awake,
I’m the shadows on the wall,
I’m the monsters they become,
I’m the nightmare in your skull,
I’m a dagger in your back,
An extra turn upon the rack,
I’m the quivering in your heart,
A stabbing pain, a sudden start.

(Chorus)

And I’d do it all for free,
Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need.
And I’d do it all for free,
Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need.

It gets so lonely being evil.
What I’d do to see a smile,
Even for a little while,
And no one loves you when you’re evil…

I’m lying though my teeth!
Your tears are all the company I need!

And who says Goth’s don’t have a sense of humor? ;)